Hi. I had breast cancer when I was 39 and needed a mastectomy.Am now 57, Since then have 8 friends die of cancer and another old school friend about to. I have feelings that why am I alive and they are not. Really hard to put into words, Most can find on the internet is survival anxiety, At a total loss. Any advice appreciated. Thankyou
Hi and welcome to the Community but always sorry to see folks finding us.
Survival Anxiety..... or as I call it Survivors Guilt - I get it and understand it. I have been on my cancer journey for 20 years now and have also lost family and good friends.
Talking with people who understand can help, you can do this on the Community and you may want to join our Life after Cancer
Just follow the link above, hitting ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
Even this week, 4 years past my last treatment I lost 2 friends within 2 hours..... and my Survivor Guilt kicked in.... but I found the support at my local Maggie’s Centre to be a great help.
During a cancer journey we all collect 'stuff' that we carry around in an invisible rucksack. It's important to sit with someone and unpack the rucksack from time to time. Post treatment healing follows a life rhythm..... and it just takes a small trigger to set us off on the rabbit trail.
I lots two very good friends to their type of cancer a few years back, before they passed we sat and agreed that the last one standing would live a life that would honour their memory and this is what I now do.
Was I fortunate? - yes..... Do I feel guilt? - not so much now.... as I have developed the tools that deals with this.
Lots of words from me.... and no real answers apart from a 'I know where you are at' and a big Thehighlander ((hug))
