My diagnosis of terminal liver cancer.

Hi

first of all, can I say how sorry I am to hear the cancer is back. After three years in remission that must have been a blow. 

I think perhaps one important thing to comfort your girlfriend (and what a special guy you are to put her first) would be to focus on the idea that although it might not be curable, it sounds as though it’s treatable. Maybe try not to get too hooked into the word “terminal”? There’s a group here for people living with incurable cancer and lots of us are well past our sell by dates thanks to treatments old and new that keep the cancer under control. I’ve been living with incurable cancer for three and a half years now. 

Here’s a link to the group - if you ask your question there the gang will chime in with their thought too  

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/living_with_incurable_cancer/discussions

There’s some useful general info over on the main website here 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/talking-about-cancer/who-should-i-talk-to

I hope this is enough to get you started. It’s a long road (hopefully) and I think you’ve done the right thing to reach out for help at the start. 

Xx

Hi Daloni, I really appreciate your email, both myself and Lisa do.  Already you have given us a little more hope and encouragement. From now on we're going to be using the term incurable instead of the word terminal. All of the this is so hard to take mentally and emotionally. Thank you so much for the link you sent, because myself and Lisa need all the support and guidance we can get right now.  The journey has only just begun and we will not let cancer ruin our path along the way.

Sincerely Steve and Lisa XX 

Hi Steve and Lisa

 I am so glad I could help. I’ve been through it myself. If I could today sit with the me of three and a half years ago, I’d tell myself that I won’t always feel this way. Things change. Feelings change. There will be good times as well as bad. I’d tell myself to live, love and laugh but above all to be kind to myself and those around me.

I think the idea of moving away from the word terminal is great. Maybe you could try out “treatable but not curable”? It’s a bit of a mouthful but I think it contains an element of hope. 

Please don’t be strangers, either of you. There are lots of groups to join and you’re always welcome either just to read or to join in. 

All the best 

xx