Getting help

FormerMember over 5 years ago

2 replies
28 subscribers
802 views

A friend came to me today in floods of tears her long time partner was diagnosed over 2 months ago with terminal cancer, they were told if he had chemo with in 62 days of his diagnosis he could live 3-12 months. They have had a couple of appointments at the hospital but we’re told he needed a scan of his heart before any treatment could begin. Today was day 64 So far no appointment for treatment or scan ???? I rang up the hospital only to be told they had passed him on to a hospital further away, I rang the other hospital to be told they had sent it back to the original hospital because they thought it was too far for them. The initial appointments he drove but she doesn’t drive, he has lost a lot of weight and is sweating so much she has to help him to shower and change everyday. They contacted yourselves and was sent a pack ? But they have no help he is struggling to swallow so far been given no pain relief and she is buying the liquid food from the chemist because her go won’t prescribe it. What kind of world is this, they feel alone and scared he doesn’t want to die in hospital either. I have told them I am here Day or night but I’m not in great health. How can these people be helped ?

buttercup01 over 5 years ago

Hi JJ, welcome to the community. I'm so sorry to hear what your friend and her husband are going through.

May I suggest u / they contact the helpline on 0808 808 0000 and ask their advice re the situation, as this being passed from pillar to post cannot be helping their stress levels.

Ask about pain relief as well as the liquid food and hospital transport and anything else that concerns u.

U don't say what type of cancer he has. If u fill in your profile a bit, you won't have to keep repeating yourself and folk will know where you're " coming from". You could then join the Family and friends group and the appropriate cancer type group.

Hope that helps for starters. A community champion will b along shortly cmto point u in the right direction and give u s proper welcome. I'm just an ordinary member who spotted your post.

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.

Thehighlander over 5 years ago

Hi and a second welcome to somewhere you never thought you would look to join.

Being given the run around and no information is not on. Your friend needs to contact the original hospital clinic immediately to get some answers.

If he needs a Macmillan Nurse that referral must come through his GP or Consultant so some pointy elbows need to be put into the doors of the system.

It actually sounds like his case has got stuck in the complicated NHS system (it does happen) so a number of pointed phone calls need to be made.

If he is in very bad pain they call 111 and look for support and if all fails take him to A&E.

Yes, please call the Helpline on 0808 808 0000 as these folks will be able to make some sense of this and can point you in the best direction.

We do have these groups where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum, Friends and Family Forum and Supporting someone with incurable cancer

((Hugs))

Mike (Thehighlander)

It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

My cancer story