Loneliness

Hi and  welcome to the community, although really sorry to hear about your husband. It must be really difficult time for you. Please do not feel guilty for thinking about yourself, it is quite understandable. We have a very supportive group here you may find it helpful to join, Supporting Someone with incurable cancer . There you will find others in similar circumstances to yourself, and people who understand. You can ask questions or just share your thoughts. Click the link to get to the group and you can then start a new discussion there. You may also like to browse some of the current discussions and feel free to join in if you wish. If you ever feel like talking to someone in person, the free helpline on 0808 808 000 is open every day until 8pm and where you can get advice or just talk. Best wishes. 

Hi Andreda, I'm sorry to hear u feel you're just watching your husband die. How awful for u. You're not selfish at all.

U might find it helpful to join the Family and friends group,to get even more  support for yourself and perhaps the  Oesophageal cancer group as well?

Have u any family close by? Or is it just the 2 of u?

Should u need to talk about all this, u can see if there's a Macmillan or Maggie's centre local to you. Have a look "In your Area" -  on the Home page  then Menu - or ring the helpine on 0808 808 0000, 8am to 8pm.

Sorry, the above crossed with rily's post. Hers is a much more informative one

Hi

I am so very sorry to hear about your husband and about how difficult you are finding this. I can hardly imagine. 

I think rily and buttercup01 have given you some good starting points for finding some mutual support here in this community. It’s odd how easy it is to make friends with people you’ve never met. I do hope you’ll find “your” people here - the ones who know what it’s like because they’ve been there too and who won’t judge or make you explain or tell you not to feel the way you feel. 

I wanted to add one thing. You are not selfish. You are brave to own up to these difficult feelings and to look for help. We are all suffering in one way or another and it’s not a competition. As someone wiser than me said “it makes no difference if you’re drowning in 60 foot of water and I’m drowning in 30 foot. We are both still drowning.” 

As for not feeling inclined to do anything, well, it seems to me you are doing something very important right now by being alongside your husband. 

I wish you peace and comfort 

xx

Thank you all for your kind words. I have telephoned our mcmillan nurse this morning. xx