Why does my husband look so well.

FormerMember over 5 years ago

2 replies
29 subscribers
1754 views

Hello Everyone, I'm new to the site.

My husband who is 48, was found to have a tumour in his rectum in November 2018, following a Colonoscopy.

They sent him for CT/MRI & CAT scan, and discovered he had Stage 4 cancer of the rectum, pelvic area & lymph nodes, and Liver.

They had planned that after his treatments, he would have his liver op first, then a second op to deal with the tumour and a temporary stoma bag

He started Chemo and Radiotherapy, and in July we were informed that unfortunately the Chemo hadn't worked. They told us that he was now inoperable.

He is now on Palliative Chemo (Folfox/Folfir) and has been given a diagnosis of 12 months.

The Cancer has now progressed to all over his Liver and to both Lungs.

The part I'm struggling with is that he looks so well? Other than a discomfort in his right leg and chest, he hasn't been ill?

I said to the our oncologist, but he looks so well, and said that you can't see what's going on inside of him.

How can he look so well, does this mean that he will deteriorate quickly?

latchbrook over 5 years ago

Hi and welcome to the online community

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis but pleased that he's feeling and looking very well.

I can see that you've joined and posted in the bowel cancer group where I'm sure you'll benefit from other's experiences and also get support.

Another group that you might find supportive is the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can share your worries and emotions as well as talk about practical care and support for your husband.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself or post a question after selecting 'start a discussion' or join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

FormerMember over 5 years ago

It’s a conundrum, isn’t it? I’ve been living with incurable cancer that’s spread from my womb to my liver and lungs for over three years now. People are forever telling me how well I look.

I think a healthcare professional would be better placed to answer than me (and I’ll post a link to the ask a nurse section in a mo) but here’s my understanding from a lay person’s perspective.

Cancer cells are my own body cells - they’ve just gone a bit wonky. Normal cells are programmed to die when they get old and past it. They are programmed to stay where they belong. But cancer cells don’t die off. They continue to grow and they don’t stay where they are supposed to stay. They break off the tumour and spread through the lymph system and blood to new sites where they start to divide and grow. They hide from our immune system. But they don’t necessarily make us unwell. They are growing fast so they might make us tired but not necessarily unwell.

The point at which we start to get unwell is when a cancer has grown so much it starts to stop parts of our body working. For example, a liver tumour blocks the bile duct or a tumour in the bowel blocks our gut. I had a tumour that blocked the tube that runs from my kidney to my bladder and that made me feel proper poorly until surgeons put a tube in to keep it open.

Does that make sense? It may not be 100% scientifically accurate but I think it’s a reasonable way to think about it.

As for your other question, whether it means your husband will deteriorate quickly, I simply don’t know.

I think it might be useful to check out what I’ve said with our digital nurse. Don’t worry - she’s a real person. But she works with this community to answer people’s questions online.

Here’s a link:

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/ask_the_expert/

Best wishes