Pancreatic cancer

FormerMember over 5 years ago

1 reply
28 subscribers
580 views

Being a relative of someone with terminal cancer is never an easy time. My son's 20 year old girlfriend is living with us whilst her Mum is in a hospice some 250 miles away. She doesn't seem to be dealing with the situation in a way I would should it be my parent. Suppose everyone deals with things in different ways. She doesn't ask about her mum just blocking it out as if nothing is happening She has said she can't bring herself to go to the actual funeral. Her mum is in more and more pain and her husband says he wishes it was all over and she needs to let go

I just don't know how to speak to her and her dad feels she needs to go to councelling to let out her feelings. I lost my dad to cancer 8 years ago and I was there when he passed away and my daughter feels seeing him straight after he passed like the pain had gone he looked so at peace helped her deal with it

Arla over 5 years ago

Hi Frankie,

When I was 19 my Gran was dying of cancer and I couldn't bring myself to go and see her, I regret that decision now but I have all of my happy memories with her, at the time there was nothing anyone could say to make me go, I did attend her funeral though. I was scared and living away from home and burying my head in the sand helped me cope. The site has a section about talking about cancer, it's at https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/talking-about-cancer you might also find the helpline useful it's on 0808 808 0000. If you have a local maggies centre or cancer support group they can also be a great source of support. There is a group on the site for family and friends too, it's under the cancer experiences section of groups at https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/being_a_relative_/

Lots of love and I do hope that you can get some help for your sons girlfriend and your family

xxx