Husband

Hi Steffi

A very warm welcome to the online community and for reaching out to us, no one really wants to come to this club but I can see that desperation has brought you to us and are asking if anyone feels the same.

Unfortunately many wives/husbands go through this stage where the partner has a change in personality, when your husband keeps shouting at you, is grumpy, sad, short tempered and all the other moods he experiences it's not personal to you it's the disease and the medication talking and you being the person closest to you takes the full force of every emotion he throws at you.

I see that you have tried to speak to the consultant about your husbands depression but I think that it should be your GP that you should be speaking to about it as he is the person who should be looking after this side of your husbands symptoms you should not only speak to the GP about your husband but you should talk to him about how you are feeling and the effects it is having on your health.

It's a lot of extra work looking after a close relative and you will be getting, tired and frustrated yourself and could eventually become ill so it is imperative that you look after yourself and devote a part of each day for you and have some ME time, you can go into another room with a coffee and a book and relax for half an hour, play some music or if there is someone who cam sit with your husband for a few hours to let you have a coffee/drink with the girls or even just indulge yourself in some retail therapy you really will feel better for it, the problems will still be at home but you will be refreshed and look at them differently. Your ME time is a very essential part of your day and you should try and have some every day.

I'd like to invite you to join out Carers only forum Group and meet with the other members in the same position as you, the members are all very friendly and also very supportive towards each other and share experiences and I know you'll be made very welcome, to join the group is a simple process first you click on the green text above when carers only page opens up click on join this group then if you want you can click on Start a discussion and introduce yourself to the members and ask question or maybe just join in with a current discussion. One thing about the carers only group is that it means exactly that only carers can contribute in the discussions and is a very safe place to come to when you feel the need to rant and rave, let off steam (and we a do it) or just come on in and have a chat, no one is judged in the group.

Please do think about speaking to your GP about your husband, but make it a priority to speak to him about how caring for your husband is affecting you.

Please keep in touch with us all by joining the carers only group, you'll be amongst friends who care.

Ian

Just seen your post. I thought I was the only one who's husband was as all you listed. I'm at the end of my leather. What have you done to cope.

Hello My Love

You might not have noticed, but the post you have responded to was made over 5 years ago, so you may not get a reply.

But the reply to that original post was excellent, with several really helpful suggestions, all of which are still relevant.

I was sorry to read that you are struggling, and hope you are able to get some support by joining the Carers only forums, or by phoning the Macmillan helpline. Lots of people supporting loved ones with cancer will have experiences similar to yours, and be supportive and understanding if you reach out to them.

Candysmum

Hi My love this discussion thread is over 5 years old and as the members are now identified as FormerMember’ this says they have moved on from the site.

You may want to join and post in our dedicated Carers only Group and meet up with the other members navigating the care of family members 

Thank you. No I didn't realise it was an old post

Thanks. No I hadn't realised. Thank for replying