Partner diagnosed with cancer

Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community and I'm sorry that your circumstances have brought you through our door but I am very pleased that you've found the time to reach out to us and we, the Mac family, will do all we can to support you and your partner with help and advice.

Waiting to hear the results of scans seems to drag on for ages and is very frustrating the best thing you can do whilst you are waiting is to continue with your life doing as much as what you enjoyed before the diagnosis.

It's okay to cry, sometimes you can do it in private others times you cry in front of your partner it just means you care for him.

You can support him by being there for him at all times doing what is necessary when you are able but always remembering that you are part of this and you need to be able to step back at times and have some ME time, you may not think it is necessary but to be able to give your partner your continued support you need to be at your best and not suffering from tiredness and exhaustion, your time away can range from just sitting in another room with a coffee and book for 10 minutes or meeting up with the girls for coffee, a drink or a bit of retail therapy it really will make you face life differently and give your partner your support.

But what can we do to help you, we have an very friendly Head and neck cancer forum group and I'm sure my friend chris2012 will make himself known to you and be very supportive to you with his knowledgeable aadvice.

You can also go to our Ask a Nurse page and the specialist nurses will answer any questions on anything you've been told and you don't understand what's going on or want more information of your partners ddiagnosis.

In this the Family and friends forum group you will meet many new friends who will offer you their support and share experiences with you, this is the place to come to for a chat, have a moan, let of steam and as we all do at sometime have a good old rant and rave about anything that's on your mind, as friends we will never judge you but offer to unlimited help and support to see you on this jjourney.

At sometime in future you may want to join our Carers only forum.

If you would like a one to one chat our telephone support advisers are available 8 am to 8 pm every day on 0808 808 0000 and being a very friendly team they will listen to you in confidence and give you their support and offer advice if you need it but I do stress they are there to listen to you and let you run the conversation.

With the strong love you have for each other will see you through this.

Please keep in touch, we are all here for you both at anytime you need us, as they say don't be a stranger you're part of the Mac family now and you're not alone in this journey.

Best wishes

Ian

Good evening Fluffy clouds , sorry that you and your partner are going through all of this , in this day and age cancer is so much more treatable with the success rate is on the increase every year . Please try and avoid going on the internet and looking up symptoms, recover , side effects etc as they are so mis-leading . I know what it is like when cancer returns in a different area as I had 3 cancers in 2008, 2009 and 2010 one was floor of the mouth then lower jaw and lastly the voice box , for me it was so hard to accept but I just had to put my trust in my consultant and myself that I can beat it . He will need all the reassurance you can give him, try to remain positive during this difficult period and hope the scan results are on the favourable side where they can come up with a treatment plan whether its surgery , radio ,or chemotherapy . I know we all show are emotions differently so its ok to cry from time to time if it helps you cope, I dealt with in my own way by just concentrating on getting through it all without thinking about what lies ahead and just dealt with any issues as they came along . If you feel you need help then please ask to see a councillor either through Macmillan or your G.P as this can maybe help you cope , we will do our best on here to help offering advice ,help or just reassurance , we have all been through these testing times and have come through it all in our own ways . I have now been cancer free since 2010 and have been told there is not much chance of it ever coming back . Together you can get through this , wishing you all the best for the results ,take care .

                                                                                  Chris x