Just really need to talk, was diagnosed properly 18th had left upper lobe removed feb 21, as it was so aggressive and the cancer was found by chance before I got any major systems, I’m still finding it all hard to process, how quick and the fact that how extremely lucky I am all because I had a panic attack and said I had chest pain they did a X-ray and found a shadow. Without that I’m sure I would not be here today. and how guilty I am here and so many have died, suppose working in a hospital doesn’t, I have pain still in my chest, my shoulder is numb, and around my ribs hurt badly, I’m back at work full time but find it a struggle... even a walk across the car park and I’m struggle for breathe and the is just making it worse, I feel really down and everything seems all doom and gloom or that how I feel, some one said to me the other that I need to embrace the new me, minus the lung and all as with it I would be dead... but I find it so so hard to embrace anything.... sorry for the moan, the whole feeling down, but family don’t understand, friends don’t, they just see me here, which i suppose is the point,
thank you for letting me get this of my chest....
mic xx
