Hello, my Mum has just been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. We're going back to see the Oncologist next Monday to see what stage the cancer is at. We only discovered this yesterday when her results were returned and confirmed.
Just feel so empty inside but my Mum is just putting on a brave face as though she has a cold or the flu. I know she must be hurting inside too but not wanting to show it.
How do you cope???
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear that your mum has been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I am not surprised at your mum's reaction as some folks think "it is what it is" and get on with it
Any cancer diagnosis brings a lot of stress and confusion on all the family and as you say - how do you cope?.....well you do. You do need to be prepared for the next appointment so get a note book and start putting down all the questions you want to ask. A lot of people freeze at this point and are overwhelmed by information but the note book will help.
So when the time comes you can say ‘yes we have some questions’ and you go through each question one by one, making sure you write down all the answers you get. If you don’t understand something you stop the Consultant and ask them to put into language that you understand and remember the record everything they say and again if you don't understand, fold your arms and say 'explained that so we understand' You don't want to be going home after an appointment saying 'I wish we has asked ........'
Talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot and will reduce the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head.
As my cancer journey was rather different you may like to follow this link to our Lung Cancer forum where you will connect with people who understand the journey you and your mum is on. You can ask the folks questions about tests, treatments and what to expect during the months ahead.
Follow the link above and join the group by hitting the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.
You can either go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post. You can also have a look through the various threads by going into the ‘Discussions’ section.
We also have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering cancer diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
