Hello,
My wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer earlier this year after being misdiagnosed with endometriosis.
Since she's has 2 major surgeries, the first to remove a large 15cm tumour on her ovary and a second for a full hysterectomy. Neither were key hole surgeries and we've been in and out of hospital all year. She was due to start chemo soon as there is still cancer in the fatty tissue around her stomach but the Drs have now decided to hold off.
I know that Drs know exactly what they're doing, but the thought of waiting and monitoring is scaring me. What if it spreads, what if it grows etc! Obviously they've thought of all of this and know what they're doing, it's just very hard.
And of course you start over thinking in your head, maybe they aren't telling you everything or maybe there's no hope, but they'd have to tell you that?
She is incredibly fed up and it's hard when every time you get a phone call or go to the hospital there is no positive, just on to the next thing.
I don't really know what advice I want, it just helps to get it out somewhere,
Freddie x
Hi Freddie and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see you having to find us.
So sorry to hear about your wife and the challenges around this medical rollercoaster.
First, from my 20 years living with a rare type of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma there no reason where a medical team will hold back information, it’s in their interests and those of the patient and family to have clear info - so yes, you may be overthinking this one.
Second - Watch and Wait or as it’s often called Watch and Worry is often used - I was on W&W for 14 years. If Watch and Wait is suggested it means it is in her best interests to keep an eye on your wife and to save other treatments for when they are needed. There is lots of evidence that people do just as well in the long term if they are actively monitored and have other treatments kept until they are really needed.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress on a family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot and will reduce the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head.
As my cancer journey was rather different you may like to follow this link to our Ovarian cancer forum where you will connect with people who understand the journey you and your wife is on. You can ask the folks questions about treatments, what to expect and how to help her during this time.
Follow the link and join the group by hitting the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point go to the right on the group home page and select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.
The best way to get support is to go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and Introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
We also have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find some great pages covering the cancer diagnosis, treatment and information pages covering most types of cancers.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it think about putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.
To do this click on YOUR username, look to the left and select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the best.
