My son

Firstly the main thing you must remember is that the person you see in front of you is still your son, he has not transformed into someone else he is your son with cancer. Dont treat him any differently just be mum an dad. I was diagnosed with non cureable cancer in 2016 an the one thing that annoyed me so so much was friends being so false an scared to talk, I begged with people to just be the same as I was before I was taken ill. I,m sure with some luck your son is young enough an fit enough to fight this with every ounce of power he has in his body. I am a strong believer in having a strong positive mental attitude. Tell him an encourage him to enjoy each day as much as he can do what you all want to do, please do not sit around all sad an doing nothing because that is a waste, be positive I know it,s not easy but it,s the only way, ask the consultants lots of questions research as much as you can there are answers out there you just have to look, but remember family love an unity is a strong strong medicine. Stay strong an positive, an ask as many questions as you want. Best Wishes Eddie.

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see you having to find us.

I am sorry to hear about your son. A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of unwanted stress on a family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot and will reduce the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head.

My cancer journey was rather different but you may find the following forums helpful as you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum, Friends and Family Forum and Supporting someone with incurable cancer

Follow the link and join the group by hitting the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point go to the right on the group home page and select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.

The best way to get support is to go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and Introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.

We do have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific  and also ones that are general Cancer experience  groups.

You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.

We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’ section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.

Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find some great pages covering the cancer diagnosis, treatment and information pages covering most types of cancers.

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

When you feel up to it think about putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.

To do this click on YOUR username, look to the left and select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.

All the very best to all the family.

Thank you Eddie. This is really helpful. Our son will fight this I am sure . I do wish you strength to continue to battle and our very best wishes. 

Thank you very much Mike-the Highlander.  This is really helpful and i will check  this out.

Hi Jogpog,

I was a similar age and in a similar position to your son when I was diagnosed so I have some experience of how your son might be feeling right now. You’ve received some spot on advice already. The only thing I would add is that it’s important to try and work through your own emotions as the parent, as you’ll need to do that separate to your son. The thing I came to realise was that the sadness my parents felt for a perceived lost future was deeper than my own feelings for that perceived lost future. I think they felt a sadness that I would not be able to live the life they had lived, but actually it couldn’t hit me as deeply as it hit them since I have not experienced that life and I don’t think you can feel as sad for losing something that you’ve never had. So, it’s likely his headspace will be different to your own. I’m sure he will be feeling lots of negative emotions but they might not be the same ones you are feeling, so it’s important not to assume how he might be feeling. Being there and being normal (whatever that is to you) are some of the most important things you can do. That is not to trivialise what has happened, but for me, it was important to know those around me were ok. I was going through enough inner turmoil myself and feeling horrendously guilty that I was impacting those around me also. So yes, definitely share how you’re feeling, ask how he’s doing, ask if you can help in any way, but get support for your own emotions outwith your son, so that you can try as best you can to continue living life as it presents itself.

I am wishing you and your family all the very best

Greg

Thank you so much Greg. I can't find the 'like ' button or I would have clicked it. I am very grateful for your response; it's incredibly helpful.  I also wish you and your family all the very best for the future.