finding it hard to emotionally support my family

Hi

I am so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds as though you have a lot on your plate while not having much support for yourself. 

I’m glad to hear you’ve had help from chatrooms in the past. Was it the Macmillan online community you used? No matter. It can really help to connect with people who are going through something similar and who really get you. I can think of a few groups that might help including the Carers Forum, and Friends and Family Forum. 

If you’d like to speak to someone in by phone, the Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance and it’s open every day 8.00 to 8.00.

We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’ section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.

Talking to people face to face can help so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

Wishing you all the best 

Hello . Sorry to hear about your dad and the reason you find yourself back here. It sounds as though you have got a lot of responsibility on your shoulders with your family situation. Hopefully by sharing your thoughts on here may help. We have a very supportive group here for others in your situation, Carers Only . It is a safe and supportive place where you will get help and advice from others who understand. If you have any questions about your dad's treatment, the folks in the Bowel (colon and rectum) group will be pleased to help, Click the highlighted links to get to the groups. If you ever feel like taking to someone in person, the free helpline is open until 8pm each day on 0808 808 0000. They can give you practical and financial advice, or just be there to listen. I hope all goes well. Best wishes.

Hello , and welcome back to the community although of course I'm sorry to hear about your Dad and Nana's diagnosis and how its affecting you at the moment. It cant be easy being an only child and feeling that a lot is expected of you when you don't feel able to give it. I noticed that years ago you joined the emotional issues group but wondered in addition if either the carers group or the Family and Friends group might give you a place to offload how your feeling and get some person experiences of others. 

I'm always reminded that on disaster movie plane crashes they tell people to put their own oxygen masks first before they should start helping others. I have been through anxiety and depression and it does effect how quickly you think and how logically you think so I would say be kind to yourself and any help is good it doesn't have to be proper or perfect. Some cancer patients also like to feel independent and do a lot for themselves, so I'm hoping you can have a conversation about what time you have to give and what help is needed.

You might have had some help with depression or anxiety before that has given you techniques for coping with uncertainty and stress, and I have to smile when I think back I think I in the past judged myself for not coping under pressure, but then felt when I was diagnosed that the pressure was off a bit as for goodness sake if ever there is a time to feel stressed isn't that when you or a loved one has had a cancer diagnosis. You might like reading this section on when someone close to you has cancer it might help you feel normal and it has a section on getting support.    

I hope some of my rambling helps best wishes