My mum has just been diagnosed

Hi,

It’s Amazing how we cope and adapt in difficult situations, and you will, give it time.

i was actually on here looking for support myself, I haven’t posted before but I thought I ought to.

Both my parents have had cancer, it makes you feel scared and rubbish that you can’t help them & you feel bad for being upset because you want to be strong for them, and many other different emotions, all of which i’ve felt.

After the shock wears off you do get used to it, as they will do. There are awkward moments and fearful ones but you will learn to adapt and it can be something you live alongside and the panic does subside, you don’t think it will but it does.

Getting factual information can help but it took me a while to be able to digest any googled info, but for me it helped to have a rough idea about some treatments so I could help them with practical things like mouthwashes for chemo and cooking bland food etc.

There are so many treatments and options now, it’s a shock at first but there’s so much that can be done.

Give yourself some time to cry a bit, as your mum will, and then you’ll find a way of coping and of helping her. Everyone reacts differently, as a child you just want to help your parent, follow their lead when it comes to talking , not everyone wants to dwell on it but it feels odd avoiding it and generally awkward, but it’s just the way it is.

Don’t think the worst , mine lived 21 years and 8 years and counting respectively with cancer and I thought the worst and wasted lots of time doing that, you’ll develop a new way of appreciating small things and probably get quite angry too sometimes but that’s understandable, keep on trucking each day, week, month at a time.

I’m awaiting news for my Dads latest scan tomorrow so I truly know how you feel,

I wish you & your mum all the best x

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see the circumstance that brought you here and so sorry to hear about your mum.

A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress on a family but talking with people who are on the same journey will help a lot and will help reduce the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head. The one thing that will indeed fuel the stress is looking at Dr Google, say away from it as the information is way out of date and as each cancer journey is individual - one size does not fit all. Once your mum has clear information including a treatment plan the noise between your ears will start to calm down.

I see that you have found our Cervical cancer forum, this is where you will connect with people who understand the journey your mum is on. You can ask the folks questions about treatments, what to expect and how to help your mum during this time.

The best way to get support is to go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and Introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.

We also have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum  and Friends and Family Forum.

Have a look through our various Macmillan Support Line Services then call them on 0808 808 00 00 to be very helpful covering Emotional Support and Practical Information. Clinical Information and Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.

We also have our Online Information and Support Section where you will find some great pages covering cancer diagnosis, treatment and information pages covering most types of cancers.

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

All the best to your mum and keep hanging in there.

Hi  and a welcome to you also and so sorry to hear about your dad.

I am Mike Thehighlander and help out on the Macmillan Site - I noticed that you have already joined our Non-Hodgkin lymphoma forum so I am making a rather wild assumption that this is what your dad is being treated for.

I was diagnosed with a rare type of T-Cell Lymphoma in 1999 and have been on a 20 year treatment journey...... but I am still around.

With over 80 types of Lymphoma we can't have a group to cover each but we do have a few groups that cover the more common types of NHL.

Follicular Lymphoma

Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma

Mantel Cell Lymphoma

We are always around to help out and talk about our own blood cancer journeys looking to walk this together,

((hugs))