Hi, I'm new to the group. In Dec 2018 my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell cancer. They discussed palliative care or aggressive chemo & radioT which was was the option she chose.
She recently had a follow up appointment and even though the main tumour has shrunk by about half (which made the treatment worthwhile), she still has tumours in the lining of the lung plus all the damage from the radioT so there seems to be little they can do now. She was given a prognosis of probably 2 years and told to come back in 6 months for further scans and told to enjoy life in the meantime.
She is only in her late sixty's and it all just seems so unfair. I am really struggling to cope with her illness as I am so close to her and am just so teary all the time and can feel myself pulling away from friends too. I live 250 miles away so am trying my best to see her every few weeks but have a couple of kids, a dog, run a business, etc I'm just finding it all so difficult.
Does anyone have any advise on how I deal with all these emotions? I know the prognosis is always a rough estimate but I'm already panicking about the thought of losing her in such a short space of time. Thank you.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see the circumstance that brought you here and so sorry to hear about your mum.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress on a family but talking with people who are on the same journey will help a lot and will help reduce the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head.
As my cancer journey was rather different you may like to follow this link to our Lung Cancer forum where you will connect with people who understand the journey your mum is on. You can ask the folks questions about treatments, what to expect and how to help her during this time.
Follow the link and join the group. To do this hit the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point go to the right on the group home page and select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts. If in the future you don’t want to receive notifications just switch off the email notifications tab.
The best way to get support is to go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and Introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy and paste what you have in this first post.
The emotions and practical issues you are facing are hard but could I also highlight these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum and Supporting someone with incurable cancer
Have a look through our various Macmillan Support Line Services then call them on 0808 808 00 00 to be very helpful covering Emotional Support and Practical Information. Clinical Information and Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’ section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
When you feel up to it thank about putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.
To do this click on YOUR username, look to the left and select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - REMEMBER hit the big green SAVE before you leave the page. If you're not sure what to write you can take a look at any members profiles by clicking on their username.
All the best to you all xx.
