My Friend.

Good morning  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see the circumstance that brought you here and so sorry to hear that your friend is going through so many tests with no answers at the moment.

Your situation is a challenge and you do feel you want to support your friend. These times are very unpredictable and living life round about your friends medical problems will be a challenge. We actually do this all the time with our two elderly mum's as we have no idea if something will happen when we are on holiday. I think this is going to be a choice that you just have to make........ but if you asked your friend what would she say?

We do have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum

Follow the link(s) and join the group(s). Hit the 'Start a Discussion' tab and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you put in this first post.

Remember to go to the right on the group home page and select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.

You may also find our various Macmillan Support Line Services on 0808 808 00 00 to be very helpful even if all you want to do is talk with friendly person that can help in lots of ways.

We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’ section but please allow a few days to get an reply.

We also have our Online Information and Support Section where you will find some great pages covering the cancer diagnosis, treatment and information pages covering most types of cancers - just go to the bottom of the home page and have a look through the list.

You can also do a Live Chat during normal Support Lone Working Hours 8.00 to 8.00 (Bottom Right)

Once your friend gets a clear diagnosis then check out our Cancer specific groups where you will find a place to talk with folks on the same journey as your friend.

All the best.

Thank you for a quick response. My Friend has been told they looking for cancer but cos of her sodium been so low she keeps forgetting. So she thinks she is just in cos of her blood which is hard cos don't wanna have to keep repeating as she forgets and I get upset. She would props tell me to go.

I lost my dad in 2000 to this horrible illness and its bringing it all back, as I am so scared she will die on her own like my dad did.(Think I just over reacting ) Thank you 

It’s not an over reaction, it’s real and as you say the situation is bringing back memories that we all would like not to have to deal with.

Over my 20 years cancer journey I have always been upfront and probably looking out for the folks around me more that looking after myself, so I would tell you to go........ but that does not help :( 

If she is being told stuff and she keeps forgetting get her a note book so she can keep note or her team can put some basic notes into her book so nothing comes as a surprise as she had forgotten stuff.

Check out the support groups and certainly call the help line as these folks will listen and try and make some sense in the story in between your ears.

Always around to listen and talk ((hugs)) 

Hi and my welcome to the online community and can appreciate that you feel that you can't jet off on holiday and leave your friend alone but if I may I'd like to offer a suggestion to you.

If both your friend and yourself have smartphones you could install a video calling app onto both phones and when you call her not only would you be able to talk to her but you can see her and likewise she can talk and see you. It's not the same as sitting by her bedside and talking but it might give you piece of mind when you are away to actually see how she looks. 

By making calls through the app will be a lot cheaper than making international calls.

Have a look at the Android play store for Google Duo for more information it can also be found on the IOS system play store.

I hope your friend sees some improvement and you can jet off next week.

Ian

Update.... I have just got back from the hosp and my daughter spoke to a doctor. Because she has been moved 3 times think doctors thought we knew more than we did. And she (doctor) has told her (my daughter) that my bestest friend has got lung,lymph nodes and brain cancer. They doing a EBUS instead of a bronchoscopy just to clarify. I am absolutely in turmoil now over my holiday abroad. Worse bit is my friend still doesn't know think they will tell her after weds so gotta try be strong for her. Thank you so much for all your support. xx

We have our Lung Cancer Forum, Lymph Node - Secondary Cancer Forum and Brain Cancer Forums are good places to connect with folks going through treatments for these conditions.

Its a very difficult situation you find yourself in ((hugs))

Well friend was suppose 2 have the EBUS 2day got all the way there 2 b told she can't have it as her sodium has dropped again now at 109. Doctor said it was 2 risky as if they did it and it came back cancer she would be 2 I'll 2 have chemo. He also said he wants it at at least 120 it has NEVER been that while she been in hosp highest was 115.So now she is having double the sodium tablets on just 500ml of water a day,still not eating,co fused as ever Doctor even said she was 2 confused 2 sign consent. I am so so worried about her as she has been in 2 wks 1 days n we still not got a clue what is we I.g with her. When she went in on 23rd Apr she was 47kg she is now 44.55kg. I go away 2moz 2 Gran Canary for 2 wks and am so worried if she will still be here when I get back. So sorry 4 long post but I am so confused wiv it all.

Thank you 4 taking the time 2 read this post 

Hi again , never apologise for coming on to the Community and unpacking, this is what it s for.

The cancer journey is truly full of twists and turns and most of the time the journey is controlled by how the medical profession see the best way forward at any given time. They need to keep the greater good in mind all the time, seeing what is best for your friend at any given time and trying to treat the cancer but not make her quality of life hard.

Her team will always work with the best interests of you friend in mind so lets look for them to progress this all in a positive way.

I am sure your find would want you to have a great holiday and do that, yes you will be thinking about her but the situation is what it is. Try and have a great time away.

((hugs)) 

Sorry been a while since I been on. My friend has finally had a diagnosis today. She has got small cell cancer of the lymph nodes. She is having a pet scan tomorrow. Hoping it isn't no where else.Hopefully start treatment next week. Taken us 6 wks to get to here. I am so so worried for her but I am keeping strong for her. Is there anyone who understands this type of cancer. They say her lungs are clear??? Any advice would be gladly help. Thank you in advance.