Caring for my godmother

FormerMember over 6 years ago

4 replies
30 subscribers
1081 views

I have recently become one of the main carers for my godmother who has terminal liver cancer. Her husband, my godfather, died suddenly of a heart attack 2 weeks ago. She has since stopped eating and drinking, I am now staying with her. She has put me down as next of kin however the carers have said I can't ask for more help as I don't have power of attorney. She sleeps alot but when she wakes up she is agitated and shouting. She is only having 2 visits a day at the moment and the rest of the time it is me and her sister in law to do all her personal care. She also hasn't taken any tables for about 4 days which means she has had no pain relief in that time. I feel a little lost and powerless to help her. I don't want her to be in pain at all.

FormerMember over 6 years ago

Hi Nikki

Welcome to the online community and I am sorry to see you here especially at this time, it can't be easy caring for your godmother.

It's a difficult situation to be in trying to arrange for extra care but not having authority to do so.

Getting a lasting power of attorney is quite complex and I think initially you may benefit in asking one of the Ask an Information and Support Adviser for some advice.

You can also telephone out support line on

0808 808 000

And speak to one of financial team would suggest you phone after 9 am on Monday although other advisers are available over the weekend between 8 am and 8 pm and they work 7 days a week, they may be able to give you some advice tomorrow.

I see that you have joined the family and friends group already but you may want to consider joining the many other friendly carers in Carers only forum group this is reserved solely for carers to have discussions amongst themselves.

We have other groups that might be of interest to you but let us help you with your initial problems.

Have you contacted your godmothers GP about her not eating, drinking or taking her medication all of which could contribute to her condition and she could end up in hospital and I'm sure she doesn't want that.

Ian

By clicking on any of the green text above will open up new pages for you.

FormerMember over 6 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Thank you for your reply.

The district nurse has asked her GP to come and reassess her medication. Although if she isn't drinking I can't get her to take any tablets. She has expressed a wish to remain at home and signed a dnr so I'm hoping they won't take her into hospital.

She has long periods where she seems very peaceful and then she will have a few hours where she is upset, in pain, shouting and confused.

I have joined the carers group as you suggested. Hopefully the district nurse will be some help tomorrow.

Nikki

FormerMember over 6 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Sounds like you're doing a great job Nikki, in very difficult and frightening circumstances. I'm glad you have some support, and the district nurse is calling in the GP. They'll be able to advise you.

Best wishes with this tough job, and well done for being there.

Ailsa x

FormerMember over 6 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Thank you.

I never realised quite how intense and isolating it can be caring for someone you love.

I feel guilty for wanting to get away for an hour, or for sometimes just being bored of my own company of an evening.

Nikki