My dad

Hi

That’s a real dilemma. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can only imagine how awful he must be feeling to be refusing help like this - and how helpless you must be feeling. 

I have not faced this problem so I can only offer some ideas about what I would do and that would be to talk to the experts. I would call my dad’s GP surgery and ask to speak to his GP. I would call the local hospice - often you can self refer but if not the GP should be able to do that for you. I’d also call the Macmillan helpline. 

You might get some other ideas - and some moral support - from the folks over in the group supporting someone with incurable cancer. 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/nearing_the_end/

I do hope you can find a way forward and that your dad gets the help he needs. You are a wonderful daughter 

xx

Thank you, it’s hard to talk, you’d think in a time like this where time is limited you’d be able to say everything but it just makes it harder, you just want him to be happy and not cause any upset, I’m scared he’ll resent me if I go against his wishes but I keep telling myself it’s not about what he wants anymore it’s about what he needs, and in the end he’ll understand, I’m going to ring them and seek some advice, thank you for your kind words xxx

Hi

Ah yes. You would think that at a time like this you would be able to talk. But I think life is rarely like that. Fear and anger and sorrow get in the way. I forget who said “I’m always angry when I’m dying” but there’s something in it. 

I hope you will find some sensible advice about a way forward. Apart from helping your dad to be safe, comfortable and to keep symptoms under control, the health professionals who work in palliative care usually take the approach of helping us to live as normally and as fully as for as long as possible. 

Xx

This is similar to my husband , lung cancer, chemotherapy, radiotherapy  Then found brain mets, put on steroids immediately then 10 more radiotherapy . Why has your father's treatment stopped? I am his only carer  was asked at Cancer clinic, would l like a Macmillan nurse to call. She did also district nurse. Carole