a vent

I wish I could  stomp into the room, slowly creaking in doesn't have the same dramatic effect . I am going to carefully sit down.

I have put my back out, not related to cancer just 'incidental' and it is stealing precious time. I am hobbled.

Takes the deepest breath I can and howls.

I have a  fair touch of cabin fever as I haven't been able to get out. I wanted to go out today, to park up at the beach with a flask. Also to go a shop to buy some crafts stuff, a truck load of pritt stick and some banners and fun Halloween stuff  for when my grand child ,Kit ,visits this weekend. Kit like spiders and bugs so good time of year to stock up on those. This shop is not busy, has wide aisles , so an easy one in my chair I was looking forward to it. 

Unusually I haven't seen them for a few weeks due to cancellations. So not going to a shop may not seem much but I just want to  do Nana things. Not just a want, a deep yearning.

There are things that I won't be able to do, like snuggle with a book or some meaningful screen time, extra screen time is a treat here. These really baseline things that Nana can always do and now I can't. 

Kit is 3 so at an age where they can't  really understand all this stuff. 

I am angry and quite heartbroken about it all. This has comprehensively  stomped on all plans for weeks.

This has really helped having a vent. I feel better for it . Thank you for providing this room.

Creaks out and quietly closes the door.