Got a load of notifications , was looking forward to getting pictures from the family who were out and about. There was those but also from the bank about some transactions on my account. They weren't mine. I am lucky, it was picked up quickly, everything has been refunded and cancelled so money wise I have not lost out. It happened at the second worse time of day for me, the afternoon, just up from a sleep, groggy and then the wait for meds to kick in. It was stressful and it wore me right out sorting it out. When I was first notified and getting called that was flustering me , what if this help is the scam, horrible not knowing who to trust.
I thought once I was done I'd settle and I did mostly. It did though seep in, I felt at times angry, cross because now I don't have a card for a week and it's my only one. Worse it made me feel that bit more vulnerable, last thing before going sleep, it took a little longer to drop off, mentally reassuring myself that everything is locked up and I am fine and safe. The barstewards.
In the background. We are going away this w/e so excited. Been sorting out the holiday shop. First delivery my bad, I got my dates mixed up so when I went to amend, with everyday stuff including veg and fruit,there was 3 hours before delivery. Blush. I had reserved the slot with Baileys, beer, baccy, Gu puddings and some jumbo mushrooms... So I booked another one but they insisted on charging me for a slot despite my pass being in order. So cancelled that and booked one with another supermarket. Checked that this morning and that has been cancelled because of the card, grrrrr.
At 01.19 today, the cat lets me know they have used the kitty litter, that I could ignore but now I am awake that's not an option for my bladder. I brace myself, I feel sick, the litter box is in the bathroom. Not braced enough, the cat has the squits and it's gone overboard. I have had to leave it because I can't get on my hands and knees and back up just now, to scrub the floor. So as soon as I am on my feet that's my start to today.
The cat appears to be ok, eaten, responsive but we will worry. He's old and our last one standing. His sister died in March and our other we went missing without trace 2 months ago and that's still quite raw. It's hard and I have been fretful in the wee hours.
What really smarts is that while all these add up, I used to be able to deal with things. This has tired me out. I can't drive so couldn't take the cat to vet straight away if needed, I can't just nip to the supermarket, I can't get anything online, I can't clean my bathroom floor right away and it's going to flipping annoying to be without a card particularly this weekend. This has all happened when i am home alone.
That's the nub of it, is that loss of independence, the increased feeling of insecurity and vulnerability. How exhausting it is to be knocked off course.
I felt better for the rant , thank you for providing the space.
It's 6am I have cleaned the floor. All my meds have kicked in. I am back in bed with a coffee. Only home alone until mid morning. The cat asked to go out earlier but didn't just took the view in on the doorstep. Now that it gets dark I got to see the stars and hear the birds getting up. So now I feel. I am more on the up and will think about posting.
Oh Rowan8a3264 that sounds like a horrible 24 hours. It’s definitely the case that when you feel rough, everything becomes harder and more complicated. Things that you would normally take your stride become stressful. Things that would normally be stressful cause a crisis. I hope the day continues in a better frame.
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