I hate hate hate it all!

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I went in to work today feeling like a fraud. Walking in with a cheery hello, I actually was full of hate and hurt and unkind thoughts.

I just felt so pissed at everyone. The clients i speak to and some my colleagues.

I had a customer complain about seagulls that attacked him. He wanted to kill the birds and destroy the nests.

I did not give two fucks. I was short and curt, nearly beligerent. Protected species nothing we can do (asshole). I wish i could live to 60 and worry about a bloody bird pecking at me.

Other idiots called about their fences being down and their grass not being cut to the right length blah blah blah. On and on moaning about the most mundane shite known to man.

The sense of entitlement in society is astronomical. No greatfullness, patience or kindness amongst the masses.

We have few clients who have cancer, 1 who who is driving us round the bend. Takes it out on everyone. ombusmen, mps etc. They are not happy so no one else should be happy. I hate when i get them on the phone. You can't use it as an excuse to be a dickhead to everyone. You are not special.

I hated overhearing peoples conversations. Them doing kiltwalks, marathons and booking holidays to spain. Things i know i cant do anymore.

I wont see my girls get their first crushes, get married, have their babies or meet their goals and dreams. They will forget the feel of my hugs, my smell. They will lose the fixer their problem solver. Oh how in will miss them. Oh God i will!! Here as i sit in fear of sleeping and not waking up, tears running down my face I ask Why Me? Why Us?

Leelaloo 11 days ago in reply to Scared bunny

Hi Claire, if you click on chat on this forum there is one called lovely morning chit chat - February. Most of us just chat on there,

Lee 2 x

Mmum 11 days ago in reply to Scared bunny

Scared bunny said:
how do I join the daily chat

You don't need to "join". As you are already posting here you have access to it.

From the Incurables forum Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only

then "Chat".

Or here's a direct link to the Feb chat (but a new chat is started monthly) Lovely morning chit chat - February 2026

And I'll tag you in it, and you'll get a notification for it.

BengaliMum32 10 days ago

Thank you for everyone who responded to my post. I sincerely appreciate it and am glad others have gained some help from it. Update from me, i am still toddling along, a bit weaker. Cancer still spreading, no chemo trial or otherwise. Had a scare 3 weeks ago, UTI spread to kidney then became sepsis so was really really unwell. My doctor advised me it was best to put a DNR on my file. He said either way it would be out of my hands as the ict were unwilling to take me as there was no point if i wasn't being treated for the cancer. This all fades to the background now as my beautiful best friend passed away Monday evening. Only 35 years old. The kindest sweetest person you could ever meet. She was my rock through this whole cancer journey. I will miss her so so much. Please hug your friends and loved ones tight xxx

chellesimo 10 days ago in reply to BengaliMum32

I am so sorry to hear you have lost your best friend BengaliMum32
and at such a young age as well! I am thinking of you at this terrible time.

I am also so sorry to hear that you had sepsis, and for the cold comment from the doctor about a DNR. These doctors really do need better bedside manners! Do we really need to be told about DNR’s as we would be completely out of it if it was to happen so surely there’s no need for us to know ?

Sending you a gentle hug as I think you need one right now. x

“Try to be a rainbow, in somebody else's cloud” ~ Maya Angelou

Chelle