Am I ill or depressed? Do I care?

Skj01 28 days ago

65 replies
25 subscribers
2014 views

I've been on this forum for a few weeks and I have dropped off most of the threads. I try to be engaged but I'm finding it difficult.

Treatment started 8weeks and my life has been a mess. I haven't had a full week at work and I hate it. When I am at work it takes me ages to get focused. Side effects have been horrendous. To date I have lost 10kg. I've had chemo stopped for a cycle and I am still suffering. My kidneys have been under performing and I've numerous IV infusions. I can't take oral minerals as it creates digestive issues. My sense of smell is heightened so I can taste the cleansers and lotions that have been used elsewhere on my body, resulting in nausea and going off food. Cornflakes are my friend. I've had meds to counter act meds that make me feel sick but causes other issues. I somehow managed to get a lung infection, which the docs are attributing my breathlessness. 5 days after the last antibiotic I've still got it.

So I called the Emergency Oncology unit this morning and it took 45 mins for someone to answer and when I raised this I got told that the team were going through a handover. I have to ask is this an acceptable response?

My tumors are growing and nobody gives a crap and I am sick of it all. Im getting to a point I want give it all up.

Hate my life!!!!!

Skj01 13 days ago in reply to eddiel

Morning Eddie

I'm just starting back on the bike recently but it's slow. Driving has always been a joy, but I now have to take a step back as to what I can do. In all honesty like you I have a heart condition and if treatment impacts it I won't ever drive again. My concern is more to do the will to keep going, but I will take heart all the messages on this forum that there is still a possibility to go back.

Just so you know, my car is a Mercedes GLA and I occasionally drive my husband's CLA. Both cars are a dream to drive. I tend to do most of the long distance drives and practical drives, only because my husband did all of those in our early years.

I am looking at the possibility of PIP but not on my high priority of things to do. With physical mobility issues I have had for decades I was always working my way towards it.

I'm slowly working my way through what paperwork I can go for and conditions I need to meet. I'll get there eventually. One step at a time.

I've had to cancel my plans today as I had a rough night. Fatigue side effects after treatment last week. But plans for the garden centre tomorrow as it's local and 20 mins will be my limit.

Thanks for your words.

Love to you and Sheila

Sledge x

eddiel 13 days ago in reply to Skj01

Hi Sledge, we do find a way to adjust to things that get thrown at us, and nobody knows if your break from driving is temporary or not, and anyway there are self driving cars, which will be available soon, no I'm not sure I'd like one either, PS I have many heart conditions, and never a word about revoking my licence, and I could/should have died many times.

So you keep your fancy cars," I drive a focus hybrid," with a 999cc engine, clean and ready to go, and say to yourself I'm not finished driving yet

I would urge you to apply for PIP, my friend, like you I wasn't bothered, but my Macmillan nurse convinced me, and I'm glad I did, I'm no expert on benefits, but know a little about PIP, if I can help

Sorry to hear about the fatigue, I know how tough it is to cope with, but hopefully a good night and a new day will recharge your batteries and you can enjoy your trip out tomorrow.

love Eddie and Sheila xx

GreenH 13 days ago in reply to Skj01

Hi Sledge, I hope it's okay to reply to this post, I'm just back from a few days away and catching up on all the threads. I am so so sorry to hear how things have changed for you, you have had a lot to cope with and I hope you are on the right track now with your new team and treatment. I am also sorry that you have had to stop driving, it is clear how much this means to you, I do so hope that this is a temporary bump only . Having read many of your previous posts i know how fiercely determined you are and you will find a way through. I am in awe that you are still working too!! I too love(d) my career but haven't been to work since my diagnosis in February and I do miss it.

Love and best wishes

Marie x

Skj01 13 days ago in reply to GreenH

Hi Marie

You can reply anytime you want. Thanks for your thoughts though. Everyone has different perspectives that could light the way forward when you least expect it and I am so grateful to those who do.

I'm fiercely independent and have always found ways to do what I want, but this journey will be steps in compromise and some will be difficult, short term and long term. Working needs to done now until I can no longer do it and at sometime I will have to stop.

If nothing else I hope that my determination/stubbornness will inspire someone else to keep going forward. Lol! You never know.

Love Sledge x

tvman 13 days ago in reply to eddiel

Hi Sledge, I'd advise you to contact Macmillan experts regarding claiming PIP which is for everyone and not income dependent. MacMillan helped me enormously when I was making my claim, they know exactly how to put things.

However the rules of PIP have recently changed and isn't available for those already claiming the state pension. I've copied some information that I came across and I'm pasting it below.

"A 70-year-old can still claim PIP if they haven't reached the State Pension age, which is currently 66. However, if they have already reached or surpassed State Pension age, they generally cannot make a new claim for PIP. Instead, they may be eligible for Attendance Allowance, which is a similar benefit for those with care needs, but it doesn't include a mobility component.

Here's a more detailed explanation:

PIP is for those under State Pension age:

The primary eligibility requirement for PIP is being under the State Pension age.

State Pension age is gradually increasing:

The State Pension age is currently 66 and is scheduled to increase to 68.

Existing PIP claimants can continue:

Individuals already receiving PIP can continue to do so even after they reach State Pension age, as long as they continue to meet the eligibility criteria.

New claims are generally limited after reaching State Pension age:

While it's possible to claim PIP after reaching State Pension age under specific circumstances (like if you were previously receiving PIP and have a break in entitlement less than 12 months), it's generally not possible to make a new claim.

Attendance Allowance for those over State Pension age:

If you've reached State Pension age and need help with daily living tasks or mobility, you might be eligible for Attendance Allowance instead."

HTH

Tvman

Love life and family.