yes or no time next week , Any advice would be nice

Oh Minmax, was not expecting that sort of thread, though one has to, regarding the site we are on.

 have not taken it all in, and will read again to digest it.

When I last see my oncologist, for some reason, out of the blue, i said when do I call it enough, her reply when you say so Mrs ellie and it will be a discussion, between her and I.

Then said Dr D when do  you say enough is enough she replied, when I think you are not well enough, to take the treatment.

Gave me food for thought, with her reply.

Your thread, was well written and I appreciated it,  for you to be so honest.

Ellie x

Thanks Ellie Well ideally its not something I want to deal with but hey ho no avoiding it at the end of the day. If the Oncologist said a year happy days but months and not to many isn't good , But there is no changing that so I am just going to get on with it. I think if I was well enough I would just go to Italy for a few weeks and eat paste lol. Just being able to eat and drink would be a major bonus. I would usually have 8 oz of pasta everyday , Now I struggle with a baby bowl of Mac and cheese . I am hoping that is improving as the drugs wear off , fingers crossed  

 A few weeks in Italy. and pasta, wine for me, sounds idyllic,  I hope you get your wish.

 Remember Oncologist can only guess on time frames.

Have you discussed this with family, mind you some time that is harder, than a stranger.

None of  us can avoid, the situation, and when it happens, has to be our choice and what and how we deal with it.

Hi Ellie Just been to the hospital which was a bit emotional as they are saying there will be no improvement with my swallowing or drinking which is a worry and will probably get worse . There putting it down to radio therapy and my neck dissection . That seriously swayes an important decision . My kids are on board no problem with whatever I decide. I have told my parents so they know the general jist that I might not be getting anymore treatment , Unfortunately I havnt mentioned the time line yet , They are 91 and 92 so not a conversation I am looking forward to 

Oh Minmax, did not realise you was at hospital today, I am really sorry to hear this.

I can understand, how this may reflect your way forward regarding more treatment or not.

Glad your kids are on board with it, i have all ready told mine, it will be my choice when i say no more, and they must abide by that.

May I ask why the drinking and swallowing will get worse.?

My brother is having a bit of trouble at this moment in time.

II can understand not saying any thing to your parents at this moment in time, you have to get it sorted in your own mind, you come first, I do not envy you telling your parents.

Always here to listen if it is needed.

Agh its just one of those things . I remember someone mentioned the care you get when you start getting nearer the end. I am seeing so many people now which kind of seems a waste if there is nothing more they can do for me. I think all these side effects can sway an answer to have treatment or not . Its very heart wrenching being told more bad news but the only way  around it is to accept it and move on . They think it will get worse because I never really had any issues before starting this immunotherapy and they think it's due to the radiotherapy and my operation. Tell your brother to stay strong and these bad times will pass . My parents will be fine and understanding like loving parents that they are. 

Minmax

The only dealings I have had, with end of life care, was my husband, he id ask to go to a Hospice, as I was already,  diagnosed, and could not care for him, the way we both wanted.

All I say, was the most wonderful place, and the care was out standing. Angels in disguise, I have told my children, thats  where i would like to go.

I hope you prove the oncologist wrong, regarding the time given, please keep in touch.

Oh Minmax, I'm only getting to know you and I'm rocked by your post. Of course I wasn't expecting that and as I read it I felt sad that you're in such a horrible situation. I can understand that you won't want to be subjected to severe side effects and you don't wish to feel sick for the time you have left. Have you asked about any trials that you could get yourself put on that may be of benefit to you without bad side effects? There's always a chance. 

Fingers and everything else crossed for you.  

Take care 

Tvman x

Hi tvman  I am far from throwing the towel in even if my tumour is getting as big as my liver. I am blessed to have got this far so there is no sour grapes from me . I will be asking about life expectancy on different chemo etc. I just dont fancy been ill for my last days which I think is understandable . All the Best Minmax 

This.  

Difficult conversations.  

No one wants to feel rubbish all the time.  

I hope you and your team can find some treatment or a workable approach.

Sounds like you have a good onco.