Be Positive

Completely agree. There have been a number of threads on this in the past. I have found that a few people understand stage 4 cancer a bit better since Chris Hoy’s public announcements. I have had a couple of people ask if I have what he has. Well, sort of. I have breast not prostate cancer and my secondary spread was to liver not bones, but otherwise the same. And don’t get me started on the races for life / pink ribbon type stuff. If only these miracle cures worked, there would be no job for oncologists!

Hi Lee2 I don't think we have spoke before.  I've had problems signing in and am sick of changing my pass word, so been away for a while. Anyway glad to meet you I've been on this journey 8 years now. Surgery, it came back after 12 months and a no hopper at that time,  but told I'm cancer free now. Stay hopeful  it does happen. Ignore crap therapies, just crack on, at first I listened to the stay positive crap and felt awful trying to do it. Don't.  Just listen to your body scream if you feel like, lay in bed and cry if you feel like. I did if that, if that's how you feel , I did but got up the next day and felt as If I could go on.  Just be kind to your self. Half have no idea what there on about. XX

Moi2

Hi Moi2 thank you for your kind words.  No we havent spoke before, I am new to all this.  I am so glad I found this forum people on here are so positive and it really helps me because nobody else can quite understand.  Trying to be positive and smile all the time is so tiring but I seem to try and please everyone all the time.  Its a hard mindset to get out of.  I also feel like a fraud as I feel quite well in myself sometimes I dont believe it is happening to me.  Thank you so much for reply to me.  Coddfish thank you for replying as well, at least I am not on my own with these feelings.  At least we are all here for each other x

Lee 2 x

Hi Leelaloo

Although I am at the start of this journey I am in agreement. I am heartily sick of the 'Be Positive' speech. Really! What else can we do. So here you go..

I am positive:-

• I want to say 'hello face,meet my fist! (I wish)
• Smile and nod my head when somebody says be positive.
• I am the one that's ill but your the ones that is upset (when they are not family).
• Is there any wood I can chop? It's a better use of my time!
• Find an excuse to leave so that I don't have to hear this speech!

I'm sure there are more, maybe some of the others on this forum can come up with a few more.

Hope it made you smile  

Sledge 

Hi Lee2, oh that feeling,  I know it well, I have looked healthy all the way through, just remember your the important one on this journey  you'll realise who you can trust  to ɓe honest about your feelings with. Speak to macmillan they are very good with us. Take care.  XX

MOI

Hi just wanted to agree with you all . I hate the conversation that goes …Ah blood cancer I know someone who had that they have lived 5/10 years you will be fine … I want to reply there are many blood cancers ranging from completely treatable to terminal in a very quick time … I don’ t though  I just smile  and nod . I’m all for encouraging and being positive but it’s very annoying when people who hardly know you feel they are more informed than you . Rant over I’m afraid that I woke up this morning with the devil on my back ( as my mum would say ) can’t shake him so joining in this conversation has sort of helped  in a weird way . Anyway must push myself to go for a walk fingers crossed I don’t meet anyone :)   

Hi Moi!

I so agree with you....I've looked 'well' throughout my cancer experience, in fact don't get any symptoms that can be ascribed to the cancer. So it really bugs me when people say 'but you look so well!' What are they implying? That I should look terrible? bald? green? sickly?  How am I supposed to look? Sometimes I wonder if they are secretly thinking that I'm a fraud....sometimes I'm tempted to give them the (very) long list of all my tumours....but most of the time I just ignore them and change the subject. 

Glad to see you still posting, by the way! Hope you are still doing well!

xxx Kate

One of the bits of advice I got 

Morning Ian, great advice, I already do much of what you suggested, especially the filtered water, epsom salt baths lemon  juice, no sugar and defiinitely no processed food, I also have regular massages by specialist cancer qualified masseurs with years of experience, PS the queen has the blue spot on her, I doubt I would have spotted her otherwise, hope you have something nice on for today, and I  don't mean your clothes.

Eddie

For me the “helpful advice” from various friends and colleagues included

- grapefruit. I zoned out as to whether I should have it or not have it. 
- have a mastectomy. This was after secondary cancer had been found in my liver and the primary tumour had been removed. 
- lions mane mushrooms. These seem to pop up everywhere. 
- various actions to reduce oestrogen. My cancer is triple negative and doesn’t have receptors for oestrogen. 
- asking for various treatments others had had, that weren’t effective on my type of cancer. 

The lemon and garlic drink sounds a delight although I can see other health benefits from reducing sugar and processed foods. My oncologist did recommend I take vitamin D.