Feel so low

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My cancer is on the right side of my tongue and the floor of my mouth at the back.

But I've been getting pain in my jaw which is getting worse. Sometimes it feels like really bad tooth ache in the right side of my jaw at the back, sometimes it feels as though it's the whole jaw up to the joint and sometimes both.

It's been waking me up at night and last night it got me up twice and it's not letting up today.

I've had to increased my pain meds, but it's not helping much, didn't want to up them as they make me sleepy.

 i really needed to be with it today as my mum is on end of life in hospital and i wanted to go and see her and now i can't.

It's a 140mile round trip, so i know i am not fit enough to drive myself and I haven't got anyone to take me.

Her cancer nurse has offered to arrange transport for me, but i said no, because all i'm doing at the moment is crying my eyes out where i feel so low and i don't want to do that in front of her.

I'm normally a very private person and don't air things in 'public'  but today is not a good day, So hope tomorrow is better, that i am better and that she is still here so i can go and see her.