How to stay "normal" for my young children?

2 replies
16 subscribers
485 views

I feel like crying today. Its only been two days after the first session of my second round of chemotherapy. Face is flushed, hoarse voice, nauseous and extremely tired. I can barely converse with my children who are off for a few days due to school closures. This is the time i should be making memories and special moments but all i want to do is sleep. My family wants to help, but i dont want to feel useless, horrible and greatful all at the same time. My failure to my children eats me inside. They dont deserve this. I started organising my life into a series of documents and important information for my husband so i dont have to deal with things when i am worse. I want to give up but i cant for my childrens sake.

ellie 73 over 1 year ago

Very hard to answer this, my children are not small, though my hubby helped me, only when i asked, For the first few days after treatment, you fill rough, explain to your children and when you start picking up, then you can do things with them.

My adult children all came round and i said from the start, do not smother me, you have not it all your life, if i need help i will ask, thats how we managed to get threw it,

Every one is so different, in how the approach this situation, you have to do what is best for you,

Say to your children mum must rest to get better, children to understand if you explain to them what is going on,

They say honesty is the best policy, they do not have to know the full extent, they must know something is not right with mum. I hope others come in with their view,xx

Mmum over 1 year ago

Hiya - sorry you find yourself here. My kids are a bit older at 18 & 21 but I totally get that they are your focus and number one concern. But I must respond to this:

BengaliMum32 said:
My failure to my children eats me inside.

Please do not regard yourself and your relationship with your young children in any changed light, because you have cancer or are undergoing treatment. The situation you are in is not your fault, and to your children you are still their Mum. They only have one Mum and this sh1t show changes nothing. Get your family in to help so you can sleep when you need to and that will help you have quality time with them when you're feeling up to it perhaps? Plus children are very accepting, so you and your family can find an appropriate narrative for their age that explains why you need to rest a bit more than previously. Keep talking to us, we can help, and you are not not not a failure. Sending you a virtual hug