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Okay so I have an incurable brain tumour and the radiotherapy and all the chemotherapy has caused me to have mobility issues which means I am a wheelchair user. I have found that when I am out with somebody else that a lot of people ignore me and address the person I’m with, for example I was out with my mum last week and we went into next and the person serving was blanking me and only speaking to my mum despite the fact that it was me trying to buy something. Sometimes when out around the town I live in I also find that people who do speak to me talk to me like I’m a toddler and not an adult just because I’m in a wheelchair as they used to speak to me like a normal person. This is particularly any older people. It is just showing how much discrimination is around.  I have had disabilities since I was born so I do know that there is a lot of prejudice against people but since having to use a wheelchair it has got worse

  • I am sorry to hear this, though i would have said some thing, while i was in Next and buying something, being polite, i would have said i am the customer, so could you talk to me.and not my mum.

    Once you start , saying this it becomes easier, i have only over the last few years, now open my mouth and stand up foe myself., to be honest i m getting very good at it, pleased with my self.

    Some times people do not realise what they are doing, until it is pointed out to them.. So that is your goal, go forward.

  • Hi all, my mum had been in hospital, she needed to go to the doctors when she came home, I went with her. The doctor spoke to me asking questions about her stay in hospital. Mum looked very upset, I told him, my mum is there so ask her and uou need a refresher course in bed side manners. He's went bright red and apologised. It's bad enuff the public doing that let alone a doctor xx


  • Fortunately I’ve not had this experience in hospital, it just seems to be out and about.

    I assumed doctors knew better

  • Hi CharlotteLG, my wife had an accident, her spine was broken in 3 places, she became wheel chair user, her experience was just like your people would ignore her and speak to me, I was even asked how she was.

    She responded with it's my legs that doesn't work not my brain or my mouth how dare you treat me like that, the look on their faces was brilliant.

    Just because your disabled does not mean you should be treat differently.

    Also I am now aware just how difficult it is to get around in a chair even with help, it was quite a learning curve for me.

  • This is a disappointing read.  I think as a society we have a long way to go for equality and a lot of the problems are in our brains.  But things are improving with the inclusion of these issues on TV more etc eg paralympics, deaf Rose on Eastenders, a celebrity on Strictly, JJ Chalmers presenting on TV etc.  It helps to move us in the right direction.  

    Just to add what others have said about speaking up, can you and your mum agree a united front on it, so you are both doing it.  So your mum replies to the Next store assistant to say "I think you mean to address my daughter on that" to invite your response, or brings you into the conversation, or redirects the conversation directly to you.  If you are both doing it, great.   Or you could always fill in a feedback form afterwards from their website perhaps.  Doesn't have to be a complaint, just feedback.  

    I feel for you though, it must be hard work on top of everything else.  

  • I can relate to this so much. The times this has happened to me since I became a wheelchair user are too many to count. It is less now I'm in a powerchair and don't have a minder. People do just walk out in front of my chair or look straight over my head and wonder why they trip over my chair. I have times when I dislike 99% of the human race with a passion!!!