What about me?!!

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I’ve been diagnosed with Terminal cancer and like to think I’m dealing with it really well.  Trying to make the most of every moment and keeping as happy and positive as I can.  

My husbands business partner is also having some worrying  health issues and is really down about it.  He’s constantly talking about it and I suppose when I know my husband has had a lot to cope with at work, I don’t want to burden him when he gets home.  My husband keeps saying let’s do this together or have lunch together to cheer him up as he’s really down.  It’s a lovely quality and one I admire and usually have myself   

I really don’t mind as we get on well with him and his wife but I just wish sometimes he would do things to cheer me up!!! Because I appear happy and upbeat, it doesn’t mean that’s always how I feel.  Sometimes being strong gives the impression you are coping when it would be nice to know someone is doing something to cheer you up.   I feel I want to say something but know it will come out wrong so will just have a rant on here. 

rant over. 

  • Rant over, can understand what you are saying, why don't you book a meal, and say to your hubby, booked it just for us two, bit of quality time together,and for a nice chat,

    Ellie 

  • Re Read your rant.

    i have always been strong,, and do not let others see how i really am, i call it having my mask on.

    Only one person ever see when that mask was starting to slip, my hubby, and would say come one, we are going out for a few hours, or lunch.

    I would never tell him how i was feeling, he just new.

    I would not have got this far without him.

    Perhaps you should just let him see a little how you might be feeling, he knows you are strong and thinks everything is fine.

    You need time, the two of you, book a meal or something, and then perhaps have a chat about the situation, and how it is making you fill.

    Ellie x

  • Hi HAC274,

    I would not class myself as terminal and will say I am incurable but treatable. I understand that most people on this forum have passed their prognosis. I am still quite new here. Have you given any more thought to having chemo?

    As to not wanting to burden your husband when he comes home from work, don't be the fifties housewife! Don't put the clean pinny on and the fresh ribbon in your hair! Just kidding! Do you think your husband has taken your staging on board or is he trying to bury his head in his work and therefore the focus is his business partner.

    I would take Ellie's advice of a meal and a chat. Hope you get sorted and feel better.

    A x

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  • You certainly have a great reason to rant, you need some time with your husband to deal with your issues. I hope that he makes time for you. 

    Sarah 

  • I feel I want to say something

    I suggest you do.  Initiate a conversation.  You are important.

  • Sounds like he's scared. Have that chat . This is one of the hardest things you are going through and you need his support. Show him our replies if nothing else works. Some men are not as tough as they think.

    You are the important one in this. Take good care of yourself.  Say no to the meals if you don't want to go, tell him there are problems at home to sort and you are important and need his help. I feel like coming down this phoning shaking him. Sending hugs xxx

    Moi