Aw no again

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Being told that my time was very limited shook me to the core. After 9 years of chemo, radical neck surgery and my tonsils and thyroid taken away I though I had given myself a good chance to beat this neck cancer boy oh boy was I so wrong. Being given the chance to partake in a trial was a sort of way forward for myself, family and friends and After 3 years on the trial my tumour  had went to sleep and almost 4 years of battling side effects from the trial  several boughts  of pneumonia  I finally started to believe that I was winning my battle. I  started to plan ahead with things, holidays  new car and saving for another Christmas with my now 13 grandkids, all in all I was feeling pretty  good inside and mentally  aswell. Then the bombshell hit, on a recent scan something looked not right in 1 of my lungs so I have another ct scan to get on the 6th August which I noI need to have but terrified of the outcome. I keep telling myself that it could be the remnants of the pneumonia  or the slight copd I have after many years smoking which I kicked 11 years ago, only time will tell. It was so so difficult for my family to see me struggle but they coped well and I just hope I can pay them back with good news after the scan

   Onwards&upwards             Loch

  • Hi Loch. When are you expecting your scan result s ? Like most of us here, we are dealing with uncertainty about the future. I try and live each day as it arrives. Its not easy but I find that it helps take away some worries. I think Ive accepted my terminal situation but occasionally, I think at 60, I was expected more Years. Sounds like you have a supporting family.. Take care


  • Hi hope your scan goes ok Loch fingers crossedFingers crossed tone1 hi Tony I'm 60 too and never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be in the same situation, but I too live each day as it pans out, leading up to the three monthly scans is a nightmare I become a bag of nerves then worse waiting for my results appointment or phone call which seems to be the norm lately,I went through Chemo last March 2020 after my initial diagnosis,and it made me so ill I should have had 7 sessions but after five it was stopped due to my blood going haywire,but the weirdest thing about it was I felt ok before it,anyway it shrunk my Oesphagus gremlins but my lymph node in my neck only slightly but enough they said to keep it asleep for a while,then on my routine scan June 2021 they found my neck lymph had tripled in size,so I've just completed Radiotherapy and my scans in three weeks.I know it's only pallitive care but the treatment is draining me. That's my moan for today

  • Thanks  Shirley. Before diagnosis, I had no risk factors for bowel cancer apart from age though I dont regard 60 as that mega old. I was walking 6 miles daily, no other health issues. It shows how it can hit anyone of us. I know of people in their 20s and 30s with same condition. Each case is different and every day is special. Take care.