Hi to everyone

I've actually been on here for about a week now but only just thought to post on this part of the forum. Well my diagnosis is advanced metastatic prostate cancer, the treatment is conservative/palliative so it is not curable and it is life limiting. I was diagnosed in this state in June after admission as an emergency with a psa reading of 5000+. It is currently a decimal, not sure of the exact figure. I could look it up but the hormone treatment has worked well to date. As to how I am about it and everything I thought I would just post a few words of reflection I wrote in October. 

I was lying down after a long immersion in the bath. Such a powerful emollient thing and so integral to all the palliative care I now receive. The pain was minimal and I was really relaxed just looking out of the window at the branches of the great tree swaying in the wind, lit but the sun, the leaves just beginning to turn colour for autumn. This is the nature from which I emerged and of which I know as little as the time I return to it. There is a feeling of continuity with or without consciousness. That must be something but is as mysterious as the day is long. In my mind I had some fond memories. I learnt to live in harmony eventually with life. It is not easy in this world. I am sad but not afraid to leave it. I feel the sadness of my friends who say they will miss me. I cannot ignore that. But it has to happen and I have acclimatised to that and in the depths of my soul there is peace that sees me through the periods of pain.