Hello, Here after my Cancer has spread

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Hello. I am 50 and was diagnosed in Dec 2020 with Stage 4 terminal Her 2 Breast cancer with liver, lung and brain mestasteses. Radiotherapy, chemo and Steroids kept me going. Was put on Phesgo every 3 weeks and for the last 4 years have been living a bit in denial (apart from hospital appointments and Scans every 12 weeks) as reasonably healthy and well. I did lose my hair and my driving license (I hated loosing my car - that was the worst part!).

Still able to work full time in a job I loved, two kids, a wig and social circle. I was in denial

Roll to Jan this year and I got a shock. I was in severe back pain misdiagnosed as sciatica. I knew they were wrong and pushed for a second opinion. It was then confirmed that my cancer has spread to my spine. After 2 radiotherapy sessions and now monthly chemo. I need walking aids, I can walk short distances before needing to sit down.

Its hard, I have to look at changing my life (I live in a 3 storey town house) in so many ways, wheel chair, electric scooter, panic alarm (bungalow?) Having to face a change a bit overwhelmed and not managing to stay positive all the time. But Im trying.

Thanks for reading xxx

Moi2 1 month ago

Hi Rosemalt, yes it's hard when the life you had as normal has to change again. You can't be positive all the time as you know, we are only human. I went in the kitchen and screamed just to let the fear and anger out. Have a chat with Macmilan, or Maggies, or cancer nurse to get a bit of support on the down days. Be kind to yourself. xx

Moi

Stella2020 1 month ago

It must so very hard not have this horrible new spread. It is going to take some time to accept the new situation. Over time, you will find new ‘normal’ and focus on what you can do and enjoy. But be kind to yourself, take your time. You are stronger and more courageous than you think. X

tvman 1 month ago

Hi Rosemaltf6f6d3

So sorry you've had to join us and I hope you can benefit from friendship, sympathy and empathy from members in our group.

In many ways I can share in your situation. I don't have the same cancer as you, I have an incurable bone marrow cancer and I was diagnosed in March 2015 at the age of 57. Three months later I had sciatica which came out of the blue and that led to a diagnosis of severe spinal stenosis.

I had to stop working in January 2016 as I was in such an unbearable pain. My GP surgery was great, helping me to get the loan of a wheelchair from the Red Cross in a hospital in Northern Ireland where I have lived all my life until such time as I received a wheelchair from OT. I also bought a motorised scooter at a Motability Fair a few months later which helps a lot. I'm in constant pain, more so when I stand or try to walk.

I didn't cope well as my future plans were blown out of the water. I needed counselling from a cancer charity for six months or so. I, like you, struggle to stay positive most of the time but a saving grace is my garden where I can immerse myself and forget my worries, at least try to!

Looking forward to chatting with you Rosemaltf6f6d3 (bit of a mouthful lol)

Tvman x

Love life and family.

Rosemaltf6f6d3 1 month ago in reply to tvman

Thank you Tvman, yes I think some therapy is a good idea. Not sure why the name has numbers at the end!! The website added them. You can call me Rosemalt.

chellesimo 1 month ago in reply to Rosemaltf6f6d3

Hi Rosemalt, welcome to the group, but so sorry you have had to join us here. It is terrifying getting such a diagnoses, and it will take some time to adjust. I know things will seem difficult at the moment, and you are considering moving home, but try and make this a positive thing, that it’s you taking back control to make your life more comfortable.

You mentioned the numbers after your name. This has been automatically generated when joining the site, but if you email Community@macmillan.org.uk they can sort that for you.

“Try to be a rainbow, in somebody else's cloud” ~ Maya Angelou

Chelle