Breast cancer stage 4, spread to liver and lungs

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Hello all,

I have just joined this group, and was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021, I went through the whole menu of treatment hoping for it not to come back, and then found out in A &E on the 23Jan 2024 that it had spread to lungs and liver. 

I have been trying to be positive and not think further than tomorrow, trying to get on with things as normal, but I am getting really scared, when i get a moment to myself. I'm really worried about my 9 year old son and breaks my heart to think that I will be leaving him behind.

Im not sure how im feeling at the moment, worried, scared, trying to be brave, im not sure.

my oncologist hasn't said how long I have, but i am just so scared Disappointed

Atee

  • Oh lovely... such hard news to hear.  My advice for the next few days is to just BREATH.  Because it's such a shock. 

    I had BC 11 years ago... Only stage1 with mastectomy. A year ago out of the blue I was diagnosed with mets to Liver, Brain and Lungs... they gave me max 3 months. I was in a spin as a parent if 2 young children (partner left in Dec as well).

    However... I doing brilliantly 13 months later. I was told in inoperable and chemo probably wouldn't work. I'm doing so well and off solo travelling to Thailand in 3 weeks... this time I couldn't even walk.

    So please, breath, there are So many people living long lives after stage4 diagnosis. 

    Message if you'd like to talk/connect. 

    Xxx

  • Also... the mets from my lungs have now completey gone! 

  • Hi Welcome to the incurables, though o sorry you have had, to come here.

    You will get a lot of support, and every one, will listen to what you have to say, you can scream, rant, cry, we have all done it, at some point.

    I do not have the answer, as such scared, i think deep down, we all are, at some point.

    I have  my  down days, like every one else, and we all at some time, have to pull, ourselves up, and try and carry on and try to get threw, the day, and carry on, the best way we can.

    Of course you are thinking of your son, that is a mum for you.

    We all waste energy y thinking of the negative things, when really, we should focus on the positive, and, try and make the most of every day, while we can.

    Do things, that you like, and things your son likes, to do, so you are making the most of time together.

    I never asked for a prognosis , i really did not want to know, though every one to their own.

    It is only a guide line and they do not really know.

    Have you been offered another line of treament.

    Others will be along to welcome you, and i am glad you found us. x

  • Hi ATee, I'm so sorry to read your story,  I'm sure each and every one of us can appreciate exactly how you're feeling,  it's the fear of not knowing and the total loss of control,  also the fact that its not just about ourselves,  its our partners/ children grandchildren and anyone else who cares about us, hopefully they will come up with a good plan to treat you and all we can do is hope and pray they can get it under control,  sending hope and prayers  your way,  try and keep talking don't isolate yourself,  it's a very lonely time even if you're surrounded by people,  we,re all here to listen on here xx

  • Hi Atee, sorry you've had to join us. I asked how long and told 12 to 18 months in 2019 I'm still here, so they don't really know ,so on here are years over there sell by date. Personally I'd just make the most of every day with your son. Do be kind to yourself redt when tired. Eat when hungry, cry when upset, and don't try to do everything.  Do keep posting take care xx

    Moi

  • Thank you so much for your replies. It gives me reassurance that there is hope for me. It can be so dark .. so alone.... I am so glad that I have you all to talk to about how I feel.

    I do feel like friends and family are there when i want to talk, but they dont really understand, they dont understand the fear of dying, the fear of not knowing when, the physical pain, the amount of make up i use to hide my pale face.

    My poor mum was soo upset when i had to tell her the bad news, and when the docs told us the bad news on A &E, my partner was in tears. it hurts so much :(   

    he asked me, how i kept so calm, I dont know how i did and still do, all I know is that if i dont, a lot of people around me will be upset and worried about  me Disappointed

  • Hello aTee and a warm welcome from me, we all understand what it's like to get a diagnosis like yours and how difficult it is to come to terms with it especially where family is involved and how you feel lost, afraid and alone, so well done in reaching out for support and the wonderful people on here are happy to offer advice, support, friendship and hope to everyone on the forum. I understand trying to be strong in front of family as seeing them upset is so awful, but you must think of yourself and how you feel and know it' ok to scream, get angry or have a good cry. we all do. take care,

    Eddie

  • Hi Victoria, WOW  it's great to see you doing so well, i am so happy for you. Hope the little ones are well and have a wonderful time in Thailand, take care,

    Eddie

  • Hi ATee and a warm welcome to this terrific Group. As you have heard already, whether or not you have been given a prognosis, no one can predict it accurately even the Oncologists. There are so many new treatments around for all types of cancer and a lot of us here have beaten the odds and lived much longer than first thought. There is no reason why you can't be another one. They don't offer you treatment if they don't think it will work. I hope they have a new plan of action for your treatment. Where there's life there's hope.

    The worst thing on this journey is telling family and friends. Your poor mum will be in shock too. You are lucky you still have her in your life!

    Youve beaten this once, you can do it again. I wish I had a £1 for every time someone has said "How can you do it" or " you must be so strong"! My answer is I'm not strong but somehow we find the strength that is needed, what other choice do we have. Please let us know what's happening and how you are feeling. We have all been there and understand!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Victoria, It's great to hear you are doing so well. Thailand is somewhere I'd love to visit, or China but although I'm doing alright it would be too long a trip for me. I hope you enjoy every minute.

    I'm wondering did you leave work due to ill health as planned?

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!