Friendship

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So I've just asked a friend if I have upset her or anything as we don't seem to speak or go for dog walks anymore. Her reply was well everytime I asked you to do anything you said you cudnt be bothered.or wernt Interested so that's why I left u alone .  I sed well sorry but I get times were I cant be bothered or I'm not interested its part n parcel of wat im dealing with but I have been back to the docs for chats and I'm trying to force myself in doing things  .she has got me so mad 2 the point I think hey u have my diagnosis and see if you happy n go lucky every day. People don't realise the demons in ur head u have to deal with.  I wish sometimes she wud just be a shoulder for me to cry on but she not like that. I sed im due a scan this month and my nerves are on edge as they are every time I get one. 

  • Hello Bev, whilst it’s not nice to have awkward conversations with friends, I just want to say that I’m glad she gave you an answer. Some people won’t do that and we’re left wondering, what happened? If I can make a suggestion, and do feel free to ignore me, how about now you’ve both got the ‘tough’ bit out of the way - being totally honest with each other - that you ask her to go on a dog walk (try and be specific, suggest an actual day) and for that walk, maybe both agree to talk about general stuff.  I am a big fan of counselling and if you can, I’d like to suggest meeting a counsellor, there’s no judgement, you can cry,swear, say whatever you need to say. The hospital might be able to arrange it. I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t ask a friend for support but from personal experience and currently for my partner, talking to a professional does help.  Best wishes xxxxxxxxx.

  • Yes I see Councillor a lot. My friend just thinks that cos I'm.doing well on chemo then basically wat av I got to moan and depressed for. Yes she's great for goin for walks with but basically not much else. She's not the shoulder to cry on person and you certainly can't turn up her house without been invited .God forbid I did that . She was actually with me when I got my diagnosis so I thort she mite av stuck by me more. But she's says I cudnt be bothered to do things ( I've never refused to do anything) or if I have the occasional time it's cos weather was really bad and I was snuggled on couch. She basically a friend who you see on her terms wen and if she wants to see you. X

  • I am so sorry to say this Bev, and i'm going to sound harsh but...

    She doesn't sound too much like a good friend to have around. Maybe it's time to find a new friend.

    Cat x

  • Hi Cat .you have basically said what I was thinking. . Oh well never mind . Was good while it lasted .hope you are well cat 

  • Well said that is exactly what I was going to say people don't realise we have a hard time mentally as well to deal with as well as everything else that cancer deals us xx

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