I had blood tests yesterday and stopped at our community cafe for a break because I needed to stop for a minute, the exhaustion is really getting me at the moment, a chap I know but who I haven't yet told about my diagnosis, was so excited to show me a picture of him holding his new granddaughter, I burst into tears. I want prepared for the overwhelming feelings, I just kept thinking that I may never have that chance (I'm 38, my 18yr old has no plans of children anytime soon and the others are 7 & 9) it broke me completely in a way I just didn't expect and I couldn't explain.
I'm sure someone else has felt like this, how do you cope with it? I'm still coming to terms with my diagnosis and the prognosis attached, it came completely out of the blue, so these situations (the photo) ever get easier?
Thank you as always for your support, you're all amazing.
i really know what you mean. My daughters are 19 and 16. Realistically i won't see them grow up and have children or be around to support them. I try not to think about it too much but sometimes its overwelming.
I think there will always be times when we get caught unawares and suddenly get upset.
Oh dear carebear.
I really do feel for you and if it was possible I would send you a wish to make it all good for you. As it is all I can do is listen. You only need tell people your diagnosis when your ready, most people will understand. Advances in treatment are happening all the time so never give up hope, what you need may be just round the corner. If you tap on my avatar you can read my journey so far, it's not easy I know but I'm doing ok and that's the way I intend it to stay. I wish you well with your treatment. Sending you hugs and prayers.
Hi carebear, yes it's a horrible experience, your so young. We had my great nephews 21st , my sisters great granddaughter was there she's 4, I'll never have that.
But you have to live day by day and live uour best life. There are new treatments and trials out there so don't give up. Make loverly memories with your children. Sending big hugs xx
Hi Carebear , I know exactly how you feel. I have an incurable bone marrow cancer and I broke down in tears in a store in Peterborough when I was visiting my daughter who lives there (I'm from Northern Ireland). Why did it happen? Well, Mrs Tvman and I were in M&S, she was pushing the pram with my 9 months old grandson in it and I was pushing myself in my wheelchair (see my profile) and a lady walked by with her young daughter who was about 3 years of age. They were walking towards a lift and the little excited girl ran ahead, pushed the button to call the lift and I burst into tears and darted into a store area.
Mrs Tvman came over to me and she asked me why I was crying. I had seen how excited the little girl was and I realised that I might not see my little grandson do that. For me there's been a happy ending because my grandson is now 6, almost 7 and my granddaughter is 1, almost 2. I never thought I would see this time (my daughter wasn't even pregnant with my granddaughter).
We're over in Peterborough at present as my wife is off because it's half term. Our grandson is also off school so we'll have a great time this week keeping him and our granddaughter amused.
Hope you will live long enough to see a grandchild, Carebear. With new drugs and treatment being discovered, it's possible. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I know exactly what you mean Carebear. And sometimes when you try and explain yourself, others say you should be thankful and appreciate what you’ve got and that others are a lot worse off. I feel like it’s a little bereavement as you are grieving your loss of future. It’s so hard to explain to others because everyone says be positive, you might have years left and there are new treatments and possibly cures round the corner. But I feel that we should hope for the best and prepare for the worst and that means accepting that you quite possibly won’t see children grow up, get married, have babies, grow old with partners etc. It’s a process and does get a bit easier I think, I hope anyway. In the meantime I think people might need to see us upset sometimes to know how hard it is to accept.
I don’t know if any of that helps but just know that I feel exactly the same and it’s hard.
Big hugs to you Carebear
love Jac x