Hi

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I was diagnosed with incurable lining of the lung cancer last October. 
it was a bolt out the blue. I’m 77 and have kept myself super fit. Climbing mountains, hills, walking miles with my dog. Plus attending up to 7 fitness classes a week. I stopped smoking 43 years ago. 

I’ve had 4 cycles of chemo and had a MRI scan yesterday to see if my cancer is responding to treatment. It’s been a hard and scary road to climb. I’m so glad that I’m connected to fellow incurable cancer patients who will understand. I was born hard of hearing so I never like using the phone. 

Mentally I go into meltdown when I think what my life was like and what it’s like now and wondering what the future holds. But yesterday I had a lovely day. After my MRI scan we took a trip up the North Wales coast and had fish n chips by the sea and we walked the dog along the front. 

I’m surprised that there are such a variation of treatments. My 1st and 2nd chemo was awful but my 3rd was a bit better, probably because I knew what to expect. My 4th wasn’t as good as my 3rd. It was hard not being able to talk to someone to compare their experiences but now I have you. 

thank you

Judy 

  • Hi Judy

    Glad you have found us, and you will get a lot of support here, from every one, we are all in the same boat, and when people start to sink, we pull them back.

    We all have our moments,  that's for sure, you are never alone here, always some one will pop in.

    We all have different emotions, and can fully express them here cry, shout, scream, laugh what ever one you might be going threw.

    We all truly understand how another person is feeling, very hard for our nearest and dearest, i really do not think people looking on know how we fill, only some one going threw it does. that is for sure,

    I am sure others will come a long and welcome you.

    I have done chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy, and if i get to the 16th March will be 7 years since diagnosis.xx 

  • Thanks Ellie. 
    Yes, it’s people who have been or are going through it that have the empathy that we need. I have so many dear friends that through no fault of their own, manage to say the wrong thing that puts me in a shell. And I just want to cut myself off from the world. But it doesn’t last! My poor hubby is long suffering but he’s having to get use to a wife of 54 years who’s never had a serious illness ever! I’ve had emotions of anger, pity and self loathing that he’s had to put with AND he still loves me. 
    it’s not all bad as we both love to laugh a lot and he is a very funny man which helps. 
    it’s taken me a long time to accept the reality that I need to be with an incurable group. It sounds so final. But Ellie you are amazing and so open and an inspiration to us all. 

    Judy xx

  • Oh Judy

    You have hit home as such, my hubby was at my side from day one, he had to put up with a lot, i was nasty at times, when on steroid you  both sound the same as my hubby and i.

    He was with me every three weeks for three years of treatment, and four days before i finished, he got a diagnosis, i lost him 10 months later.

    So yes he was a joker made me laugh every day, it is the best medicine you can have and is priceless hang on to that.

    You will learn to adjust to this  incurable status, i try to carry on, like normal, do have down moments, and shed a few tears, then big knickers on, and pull them up.

    No one asks for this and we have to try and make the most of it.

    I had lots of friends, but for what ever reason, good at start, though gradually puled away, So they where not real friends, we learn the hard way some times, but i have survived without them and with the help of this group,

  • Oh Ellie life can be so cruel for some! 
    Yes, Ritchie says I married you in sickness and in health. But we never thought we’d sign up for this. 
    I actually belong to a very loving supportive church but have one special friend who I love having a natter with. She never judges me and I feel I can say anything to her without wearing my halo Innocent Grin

    Gill has had cancer twice so understands me. 
    sending love n hugs xx

  • Others will be along, dinner time here, xxx

  • Hi Judy

    Sorry you have a reason to join this group. You sound lovely and your healthy lifestyle will definitely help you live with your diagnosis even if it didn’t stop you getting it. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to who gets it. I have secondary breast cancer with lung and bone mets. Also fairly recently diagnosed so am going through similar feelings. I too was very fit, ate healthily didn’t smoke or drink a lot. It’s so random and we haven’t done anything wrong. I too was grumpy and snappy with my husband and he sounds similar to yours, very funny, kind and supportive so I felt so guilty for being ratty but couldn’t seem to stop myself. I’m feeling that I’ve come to terms with it a bit more now. I meet up with others in a similar situation which helps and I accept all offers of help. I am honest with friends and some of them don’t like that but I change the subject if it gets too awkward. One friend keeps telling me I have to stay positive which I find annoying as I think I am. I just smile and agree and move the conversation on. And if I want to have a down day then that’s up to me. I definitely think getting out and about in the outdoors is good. Nature is a great healer. She may not be able to cure your cancer but can definitely help heal emotional wounds. 

    Big hugs

    Jac x

  • Elie,

    I just read your reply to Judy, I was so sorry to hear about your husband. It must be difficult without him. Life can be sh!t sometimes. 
    Big hugs to you too 

    Jac x

  • That is very kind of you, yes it is real hard, without him at my side.

    To make matters even harder my daughter got diagnosed last year and i yes was devastated to say the least,

    Though had to find strength for her as well as mysel and deep down i know hubby would pleased i am still fighting,

    Pleased to meet you as well xx

  • OMG! Ellie, that’s so crap! What is her diagnosis if you don’t mind me asking? 
    Jac x

  • Breast Cancer, had a mastectomy , with reconstruction, from the stomach, then that all went  wrong with infection, and landed up with sepsis, but she is doing good at moment.