Waking up with fear

  • 21 replies
  • 68 subscribers

I don't know if this is the right place to put this, if not, can someone tell where to post this sort of questions please?

I am keeping relatively calm during the day, with the occasional tearful episode. But I keep waking up during the night really scared. 

Is this just part of reacting to my recent diagnosis? Will it stop once I adapt to my new normal? Is it simply a stage I have to go through?

I read such courage and positively in the posts in this group. Any suggestions on how to deal with the night time fears is welcome. 

  • Hi Lucy, you have answered your own question, yes waking up afraid is normal, as are as are sleepless nights, your life has changed dramatically and the future looks uncertain, but things are not always as black as they look, and we do learn how to change to suit the new life style, but it does take awhile, just keep on posting it helps 

  • Hi Lucy, I'm sorry to hear that you are having night time fears. Strangely I have similar dreams since I stopped working 7 years ago. I dream about my previous job that I did for 35 years at least 5 times a week. They are always problematic dreams that cause me stress. Similarly I spoke to a lady about the dreams who goes to the same exercise class on Tuesdays and she worked at the same job for over 30 years and she has many problematic dreams each week too.

    Now I would be the first to admit that my dreams are in no way as concerning as your night time fears and I can only guess that yes, they're probably a reaction to your recent diagnosis. 

    I don't think, although maybe I'm wrong, that there's anyone here qualified to deal with your night time fears and I stress that you would be best to contact the experts on 0808 808 0000. I'm sure there will be someone there to help you. I have read in the past that those who contacted the helpline give a glowing reference to it and they have been very much pleased and relieved to have done so.

    Lucy, I was speaking to you yesterday and discussing the wooden bird feeder and I said I would send a photo of it. Unfortunately it was too dark to photograph it . However I have taken a photo earlier and it is below.

      , I don't mean any disrespect to your reply, I had written most of my reply before seeing yours and I nipped out to photograph the bird feeder. I agree with you waking up afraid is normal and the seriousness of the diagnosis does soften at the edges in time.

    Take care  and Ulls.

    Tvman xx 

    Love life and family.
  • No problems Tvman, you have given Lucy good advice 

  • Sorry Lucy I forgot to include the photo. DOH! 

    It's below It's below,definitely this time 

    Tvman xx

    Love life and family.
  • Hello Lucy. I understand,just like the others do. I am about two months in to mine,and most of the time,yes,Inam positive. At the beginning I was sad,and sobbed often. I am a big ,tough bald headed bloke,and I am not ashamed either! You’ve got to let the unhappiness out. Even now,I have the odd moment,but it gets better. 

    just talk to us. We all help each other where we can xx

  • Excellent Tvman, a proper bird feeder 

  • Thank you Ulls  GrinningThumbsup

    Love life and family.
  • Hi Lucy

    Like others have said, I think what you are experiencing is normal for one recently diagnosed, and even for others who are not newly diagnosed. It's scary, coming to terms with your diagnosis. After 5 months, I still feel teary and emotional at times.

    I would suggest talking with your GP or your oncologist about it and perhaps they can link you with a counsellor, or give you yet some more meds to help you through the night. Although I do think the former is a better solution. There are also apps for your phone that are apparently useful, one being Calm. i haven't used but I think at one stage it was recommended for me. The other thing that might be useful is to learn meditation, it may help to calm you.

    I don't live in the UK, but I'm sure there are some 24 hour crisis telephone lines that you can call and talk to someone. And it can be beneficial to talk to somebody you don't know.


  • Hi Lucy,

    I can understand this.

    I was diagnosed this time last year and went through a stage of feeling very bleak and alone whenever we put the bedside lamps off to go to sleep. I used to be upset and crying but trying to keep quiet so my husband wouldn't know. Of course he did later suspect and tried to help. 

    I also found that I was very emotional after chemo, once I was so upset I was actually sobbing. We thought it was all to do with the dark, feeling alone and the dark associated with death. We bought a nightlight and things settled down. Sometimes even now it happens, the lights go off and I'm wide awake, mind whirring, the only difference now is that I don't get upset.

    I found counselling a good help and I use Serenity meditation app. I wouldn't say I'm fixed but I'm better than I was. Hope you find your own way of dealing with it soon,

    A x

    What is a Community Champion?

    I am a Macmillan volunteer. 

    Macmillan Support Helpline

    0808 808 00 00 

    7 days a week between 8am -8pm