Good Morning, new here.

Hi all Relaxed

I was diagnosed with  T2N1M0   SSC Right floor of mouth & right side of tongue in October. My team decided that i would not be able to get through the operation my consultant wanted to carry out due to lung issues i had during our very first lock down.

The only treatment available to me is two weeks of Radiotherapy, i completed my first week and saw my Oncologist yesterday, he has asked me to decide i if i want to carry on and have the second week. I don't know if i am going to continue with it yet.

When i had the meeting with my team and was told i would only be having the Rt i knew what this meant, but talking with my Oncologist yesterday it has really hit home now that i'm not going to be coming through this.

My family and friends know i have this cancer but are unaware of the eventual outcome. After yesterday i was going to tell them in new year  'the full story'. But my sister called to see how i got on and ended up having to tell her and got the usual couple of minutes silence, she asked 'how long' so managed to pass it off as he couldn't say, it could be years, it's a case of how longs a piece of string which was true.

I am dreading telling my 26yr old son as we are very close.


  • Hi Cat

    I am so sorry to hear this, and i  really, have no answer to this, i wish i did,

    You will get a lot of support here, or some one just to listen, when you need another pair of ears.

    You can scream, rant, moan, what ever, we have all been there.

    They are a great bunch of people and i would not have got this far, if it was not for them.

    I just wanted to say hi,so you know some one is always here,

    It is a hard descion to make,  and we have all been there or we know one day we might have to,make a descion.

    I am happy to met you, though sorry it had to be here.


  • Hello Cat. A lot of us here have been given the terrible news but we are still here years later.

    The main person in charge in the heavens knows how long we have all got but it's an educated guess for everyone else.

    Like Ellie said, everyone here knows exactly how you feel. I wish you all the best for the rest ofvthis year and the next.

  • Hi Catmarel, welcome to the group, but so sorry you find yourself here.

    The advice I will give, will be to take all the help you can to help you to come to terms with this. That can be through counselling which your GP can arrange for you. Or if you have a Macmillan centre or a Maggie’s near you, you can pop in and talk to someone there. These centres really are wonderful places to go, they arrange so many different services there, from financial advice, to exercise classes. Or if you just want to pop in and have a cup of tea and a moment to chat, you can do that too. 

    There is also the Macmillan support line which is available 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm on 0808 808 00 00. A free call which is completely confidential.

    As Ellie has already said, you will also get a lot of support here, from people who really do understand what you are going through. 

    Telling children is the hardest thing to do. My girls are so supportive, and they have told me that they appreciate my honesty with them, so they always know what is happening. It is a difficult band aid to rip off, but remember once it is off, there is no going back xx 


    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

    Community Champion badge
    1. Hi Cat, sorry you've had to join the club nobody wants to be in. But we chat and support each othere, any time you need to talk or have a rant just jump on here somebody will answer you. We also like to have a laugh, some of us have a wicked sense of humour.  It's very hard to tell your family what you've been told. It also takes a while to except your diagnosis and your treatment, but it will become easier in time. We're all in the same boat. Look forward to chatting  xx
    2. Moi
  • Hi cat sorry to hear your news but I just wanted to give you a huge hug and a warm welcome to our group of fantastic people who will support you whenever you need us xxx

  • Thank you everyone for your kind replies.

    I'm ok when i talk about having cancer, and the day to day dealing with it, my NG tube & meds etc.

    But when i get to the part when i say, or think about it, that it's not going away  that's when the flood gates open and i have to change the subject quickly !

    Again, thank you all


  • We are all the same Cat, some people on here will cry just reading your bio.

    I love a good blub or a howl at the moon! It takes very little to set any of us off. You are so normal to us! A lady on here (Rainieday) said to me once ... why wouldn't we be unhappy and cry?  She is so right.

  • Hi Cat when I was first diagnosed, I couldn't even say cancer without crying , when I was told incurable a year later, I was so angry, if I'd had a cat I would have kicked it , but kicked th bed , swore my head off, cried my leg off looked mess. Then I realised it all stopped after a while as I started excepting it. I keep busy and we all try to live day by day and get on with life. It takes time Cat sending hugs xx


  • Hi Cat, glad that you found us, sorry that you need to be here. Make sure that you give yourself space to open the floodgates, as Davef says it's only natural, and as Chelle has said there are resources available at Macmillan and hopefully resources local to you to help you with this. I found counselling really helpful to process my feelings and to help me cope with them. Just being here with people who have had the same sort of news is a big help too. 


  • Hi  , welcome to our group that noone wants to join. I'm sorry to have to meet you here I would rather have met you elsewhere but here we are. 

    To be diagnosed with an incurable cancer is such a shock to the system and will take a while to get used to it. Please bear in mind that there are many people here in this group who are what we call past their sell by date, some by as much as 7 years. I was.diagnosed in March 2015 by my haematologist and he could only say that different people go down at different times.  

    Always remember Cat that there are trials for new treatments coming up that you want your oncologist to search for you so talk to him/her and say that you want to try any suitable one.

    Hopefully speak again Cat, take care

    Tvman xx 

    Love life and family.