Hi I'm new here and feeling very anxious about all this technology which I really don't understand. I'm finding it very difficult to find my way around and hope it will get easier, so I'm just going to tell you a little about myself and see what happens.
I first had breast cancer 13 years ago, 3 years after my husband had been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. I had a year's treatment and he died 2 months after it finished. That last year of his life was very difficult for me as he could not understand what was happening, why I looked different, and why at times it was too difficult for me to look after him as well as I would have wanted. He was a kind, gentle, lovely man who would have been so supportive if he had been well enough. He was able to remain at home until his death.
Nearly 5 years ago my son, aged 49, suddenly died from heart disease. It was a total shock to me and his family. 18 months later my cancer returned. It had now metastasized and was in my lung. I had minimal treatment for a year but I felt nauseous most of the time and my hair thinned horribly so I stopped all treatment. That was 3 years ago and since have felt well, other than tiredness which may be more to do with ageing. I do now also have a small lesion in my liver but that seems to have stabilised for now. I am now 78. I was most concerned to see my 2 granddaughters through university. One graduated last year and the other is in her final year. We remain very close but I want to see them getting on with life and not worrying about me. As I appear so well, I think this has been successful.
I find it hard to show my vulnerability and the burden of both my grief and uncertainty about my health can be very heavy at times. It is so hard to talk about with friends or family who find it scary and I am hoping to find others on this site with whom I can share some of these experiences and worries.
