hello all im new so here goes im now 13 months into my terminal diognosis i dident think id get here so was feeling smug only to have it hit me hard last saterday . i decided after such a long time in isolation id go to shop for my prescription , only to find when there two vital items were not there . i spoke to pharmacist but his reply was [not my problem we cant get the laxido and we are ut of the tablets ring your gp or different items !maybe im fragile but this upset me i askec if there was alternatives i could purchase he replied [ go look ] i left and then had a massive evac no toilet near panic station i managed to go to local church . it took over an hour to clean myself and loo up i was in tears something i rarely do . i felt like i was invisibal and had no hopes that is not me ,im a fighter even though i know this i will not win , but i got bus home an hour and half later and just cried . i do not have many friend sand do not want to burden them anyway but it can be very hard as having nursed i know how this may end . iv my sos box and i admit the morphine was a temptation . but no . sorry you do not need to hear this , i prayed . ok im still here so god has a further use for me only he knows what it is . im not scared of death only of what it causes others to do ,dear freinds how can i cope alone . i hope to go into hospice at the end or have pallative care at home . iv got things in order as i was told to on 31st dec 2020 . im not useually like this i hate being the ill one , can any of you lift me up just a bit ?? new years eve i was so posative a friend took me out for the evening she is greiving and i knew she needed that outing ,i and she realy enjoyed it . so i cant fathom how i am at the moment .
Hi red cat. I am so sorry that the pharmacist spoke to you like that! I am truly disgusted that someone in his position did not try and help you.
I am glad to hear that you enjoyed New Years Eve. Could you maybe talk to your friend? I know you said she is grieving, but she may be feeling the same as you, that she doesn’t want to burden you.
I am glad you found strength in your faith. Please if you ever feel like that again, please reach out. You can always call the Macmillan support line on 0808 808 00 00 and the Samaritans are always there to listen. People will tell you that for as many bad days you have, they are always followed by a more positive day.
There is also a Religion, spirituality and prayer forum here in the online community that you may be interested in.
We are all here for you. I hope tomorrow is a better day, and you manage to get the medications sorted. Xx
