When is the question

I am in hospital waiting to go to hospice for assessment for car package and home for a short while.  Told daily not long,  my daughter and I discussed it all,  made sure she knows details of house etc but now don't need to discuss further. But I'm tired of being told. "Eat what you want it doesn't matter"   " no need for plans now "   "don't bother with meds you don't want ".    How many ways can you be told you are finished.    Just try and  get on sme wavelength with your children and  you must lead the way.

• Hi   sorry to here this, i have, had the hospice round when I came  out  of .. hospital, have to say they were lovely, they asked loads of questions   i felt at  ease. .

I am  pleased you  replied,  hope to chat  again soon.

Hi Ellie

You have asked a very hard question! Only you can decide when, or even if, to stop having treatment. I don't feel I can say what I would do if I was you, because I'm not you!

But I do want to offer you a huge virtual ((hug)) !

You have always offered others wise advice on this forum, so I'm sure you can advise yourself what to do.

And another virtual (hug) xxx

Kate

Oh Kate I thank you, and I appreciate  your  reply, I would have said the same,  if some one else had asked the question.

It has been going threw my mind all week, more so because my children. both have different views.

I really thank you. xxx

Hi Ellie, not really the kind of question I wanted to ponder after a lovely autumn day but for me it will be when I find my quality of life no longer acceptable and worth living. And I will not consult with anyone - it will be my decision and mine alone.

Ellie that’s so hard and I am sending hugs whilst all these thoughts are on your mind 

I’m totally with Patrick on this , for me it will be when I feel my quality of life is not worth living for and it will be my decision. It’s very hard for our children, they obviously want us here with them for as long as possible 

Lots of love 

Lucy xx 

Today I had a short trip in a wheelchair  to the cafe.  Exhausted and breathing worse ever since.   It seems time is nearly up.   My husband died 15 years ago today.   Feels like an omen.  

Hi Ellie

I have been thinking a lot about your question since you posted.

You did mention that you have found the hospice staff very helpful to you. I wonder if your children have had the opportunity to talk with the staff too? You don't often post about your emotions or feelings, or your family. I know they are very important to you. I respect that, and am not wanting to pry.

I just wonder if it might help your children to open up with someone and discuss their feelings too? For me, looking in from the 'outside', what is important is that your children are able to accept, and be at peace with your decision...whatever that may be. 

I hope you have had a restful night.

xxxxxx Kate

Hi Ellie

I don’t really know exactly when I would stop treatment. But quality of life would be my main priority and I would not keep going for others. 
Sending you lots of love

Stella x

Oh Ellie, you definitely have been through a lot over the years. Going right back to when we were in the lung group together and you had your chemo, then we were all so happy when you got through all of that, to find out that your lovely husband who had supported you all the way, was unwell himself. We were devastated for you when you lost him.  You have been on this journey for such a long time, and you have continued to support so many people, whilst you were going through so much yourself. To be thinking of this question now, is hard, and it’s hard for us to think that this is now in your head. Your children will not want you to stop, because they will want you with them forever…. But we all know that is not possible. Only you will know when the time is right, but I think because you are feeling the need to ask this question, it’s not yet. You have always shown us what a tough independent woman you are, and you definitely know your own mind, and you will know when the time is right, and it will be your decision, and yours only. Sending lots of hugs xx