Being alone

Hi Sweet21Pea, I'm so sorry your feeling alone, and can understand your need for friendship and support, even with family and friends, having our prognosees makes you feel alone at times, and the longer nights don't help either, I could give you suggestions for meeting groups or individuals, but finding someone to share your home with is not my area, I do have family and friends who have met some lovely people online, sorry I'm not a lot of help, hopefully someone will answer with better advice, best wishes with your search 

Eddie xx 

Hello Sweet21Pea,

I share your feelings and understand the lows you are going through. My husband passed away from cancer 2 years ago and I am terminal too. I've been able to be strong and so positive for so long but it does take its toll after a while. 

I like you have family and friends but you do feel forgotten because those around you are busy living thru lives. I have never put any expectations on anyone but I sometimes wish they would reach out and talk to me about how I feel. Like you the long evenings are difficult and I try to arrange and meet people when I can but I've started feeling low like you after so much positivity.

I wish I had a solution for us and anybody out there struggling with their diagnosis and the side effects of chemo. 

It's peculiar how much support I feel from watching Ambulance on BBC watching the amazing work of the NHS and just reminding myself that there is support and people v who care. 

Do you find your family want to talk with you and provide you with emotional support. For me, that's what I would benefit from but there is a barrier and people are so wary of talking about cancer, even my mum and brother. 

I'm a strong person and find it frustrating to be feeling low but cancer does change your perspective. 

I wish you well. Here if you heed to chat. 

Sending love and hugs. I find it hard talking to.my family we have never been aclose chatty family.I have found this online community a help. I think my  biggest fear is the unknown future.

Yes me too. It transforms your whole outlook doesn't it, nothing feels the same and you can't plan.

I have been so positive for so long but I feel frightened now. 

I miss the mundane more than anything, all the silly, trivial things that would fill my life before and took for granted. 

Hi Sweet21Pea

You've had some interesting responses to your post....I'm sure you're not the only person here who wonders what the future holds, and how to prepare for it.

I've only just become aware of a charity that organises befriending for people who are alone, or socially isolated. It is not a national charity, and I live in Scotland....I'm not sure where you live, but there may be something similar available to you. It is called NODA (no-one dies alone).They work with another charity called Listening Ear. I did ask the organiser about it this morning, and she said that Marie Curie have volunteers who visit people in their own homes...not Marie Curie nurses, but volunteers. It may be worth contacting your local Marie Curie office to find out more.

On a more practical note, as you have been thinking about your current circumstances....I have been through this thought process too. As well as sorting out and updating my will, I have recently filled in a form called My Anticipatory Care Plan. This details what I would like to happen at my end-of-life stage. It is now in my medical notes, so that my wishes can be considered regarding treatment, being at home or in a hospice etc. It isn't legally binding in Scotland, but there are similar forms for use in England.

When the time comes, your GP can organise a palliative care team to help you. They may not be able to be with you for extended periods of time.....a live-in carer/companion could do, but I guess that could be expensive.

I live alone too, and my family and friends live in England, so I'm faced with the same issues as you. I am trying to build up more contacts for myself, but it isn't easy!

Although I do ponder about what my future may be like, I've realised that I can't predict how it will be, so worrying about it won't get me anywhere! I've tried to put things in place that might make my life easier. It is all we can do, really.

If you can't 'open up' with your family, have you thought of counselling? This can be arranged through Macmillan, or your GP. The people on the Macmillan helpline are brilliant! 

I hope you are feeling better about things since you posted. Do keep posting here...there's always someone to chat with!

best wishes

Kate

Thank you so much for sharing there's some really helpful advice. Wishing you well