Practical help

Hello Spanglydangly

First of all....welcome! I don't recognise your username, so I guess you might be new on here. You have the best username I have ever seen! Lovely.

As to your post, I'm sorry you have to find yourself here, but it it a great place to chat with people who understand what it is like to live with cancer. You'll get lots of support here! And some company, if you are inside your flat and you don't see many visitors. There's always someone to chat with here.

My first thought about your question was....if you have been told you are incurable/terminal, then your GP should arrange for you to see your local palliative care team. They will be responsible for providing care, going forward.The Gp can also organise an assessment of your needs regarding help. I think this is done through Adult social services.

If you are registered as disabled, you may be entitled to help with finances, to pay for cleaners, shoppers etc. Your financial circumstances are obviously private, I'm only mentioning this because I know that you can get help if you need it. I was able to get a Motability lease car because of my circumstances.

I strongly suggest you phone the Macmillan helpline....there are advisers on benefits, support and information, and they are really helpful! I may not have got my facts quite right, but they certainly will!

Nice to meet you, Spanglydangly

Kate

Hi Kate,

thank you for your response. It’s very helpful and informative although I think I have unintentionally mislead you. I have what, nowadays, is referred to as an “invisible disability”. I’m not stuck in my flat all day, far from it. I go out almost every day to “sit” somewhere else ha ha I go to lunch, the theatre, the cinema, and lots of community events that go on in the area. However, my mobility is restricted and I can’t do household chores etc without a great deal of pain and now that I have lung cancer that makes it even more difficult. 

I get all the benefits I’m entitled to and, because of that, I’m not financially embarrassed. 

What I do need is someone to help me with household chores and it is where to go and who to ask for advice as to how I go about getting help in that connection that I need.

I will definitely talk to the helpline. Thank you again for your wonderful, caring and helpful response. 

Nice to meet you too.

Spangly. xx

Hi SD and a warm welcome. That is great you are going to contact the Helpline, I would also have advised you to do that.

I can't do a lot of the household chores either because of pain. Although I am fortunate to have my husband here, he thinks cleaning the toilet is pouring some bleach in the toilet bowl! LOL! I put an advert in our local Newsagent and Supermarket for help with general housework and it turned out that a friend of a friend was looking for a part time job at the time. The silly thing is at first, I used to go around cleaning before she arrived because I was embarrassed about the state of the kitchen but now, I just make sure it is tidy so she can clean it!

Like Kate, I also have a Motability Lease Car which still leaves me enough to pay for cleaning and also a gardener every second week. Again I asked around and advertised locally. It did take a while to find someone for the garden but he is terrific. I have a raised bed in the back garden I can potter in too! Good for you getting out most days! You could maybe put an advert in one or two coffee shops! Good luck!

Hi A,

thank you for your response. I’m very grateful indeed and it’s very kind and helpful of you to respond to my plea for help. It’s very much appreciated. It’s very reassuring to know that you found the help you needed and Im hoping I will do the same soon. 

Happy Monday to you. I hope you have a great day and a lovely week ahead. 

Live each day as if it were your last and your first.

Spangly. x

Hello again Spanglydangly

I was mortified with embarrassment when I read your reply. I'm so sorry I made assumptions, and I hope you weren't too offended. I'm so sorry!

It's great that you are out and about...sounds like a full and busy life!

Hope you can find a cleaner to help you...as Annette says, asking around your friends and acquaintances you'll probably find someone.

best wishes

Kate 

Hi Kate, I’m extremely sorry to have embarrassed you. I’m not sure what I said that caused that as I was very touched and grateful by your response. I was not offended in the least, not one bit and I’m extremely sorry to have made you think that I was. Please forgive me. 

Hi Spangly, and a warm welcome to the forum from me, firstly I would like to say WOW, what a fabulous profile and attitude to getting on with life, your amazing, I found a cleaner just by asking around, there are a few about  I asked everyone I knew, family, friends and neighbours and got three recommendations everyone I would have been happy with, I chose the daughter in law of a friend, we pick a time that suits us both and she comes once a week for one hour, you could also try Age UK, or if you have a local cancer charity they may be able to help, good luck.

Eddie xx  

Hi eddie, 

thanks for your response, it is very kind of you.

I will advertise for a cleaner as everybody has suggested. 

Im leaving this group. It has upset me that I’ve embarrassed someone just by replying to their message to me. I don’t want to have to think about am everything I say on here for fear of upsetting people. It seems there is nowhere I can go to talk to people. I thought I’d be OK on here. 

I will have left the McMillan Community Group completely by the time you read this so there is no point in replying to it. 

I'm so sad on reading this post  no one should feel this way we are all going thru this awful journey together . I to don't really post much I'm more of a reader as I've noticed how something small can cause mishaps in communication as we csn all read something that's meant in a totally diff way to how it's been wrote