Hi. I'm struggling with the uncertainty of life now. I'm trying hard to accept I have incurable cancer, and I know I've no choice in that, but I can't imagine what my life is going to be like living with it or how it will feel to live not knowing if I've a year of life or 5 (however many) years of life left. At the moment I'm early days, cycle 3 of chemo (diagnosed in June). Had a PET scan last Friday and will know any progress on 12 Sept. Post divorce I wanted to date and enjoy meeting new people, now I think that's pointless because who would want to sign up to me! I really don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm maybe looking for reassurance that post initial treatment and when on 'maintenance drugs', a relatively normal life is achievable? I want to be able to work, go on holiday, live as I did before. Unrealistic? Xxxx
Hi
I think you need to give it more time. You say yourself it's early days for you.
I also had the clothes thing (Candysmum and @anndanv) 
but for me it was a new winter coat and walking boots. But exactly the same rationale. Too much hassle for family and I couldn't justify it, if I was only going to be around for 3-4 years. I can't remember when I turned the corner and found a coping mechanism for the uncertainty. At least a year in, I think. I'm 2.5 years in now. In the end, I realised I couldn't change the outcome, so I'd have to learn to live with my situation. People have mentioned on this forum before, it's about "living with cancer".
Normal life is definitely achievable. I think that comes after many months of treatment and you can start to read the room and get a picture of what's going on. BUT. I would say my treatment has worked as designed. Would I have managed the switch/acceptance if treatment hadn't worked? No idea.
At the start of treatment I rushed in and nothing was too much bother because it was The Fix. After 2 years of treatment the benefits had stabilised and going in was such a hassle and an inconvenience. Time really helped. It changed my state of mind.
