Sad feelings

Hi sorry to here you are sad as such, though can understand why.

Are you immaterial or incurable, there is a difference.

My hubby and i booked our funeral, long before any one of us knew we had cancer, mine is sorted, how many cars, and so on.

Have told my kids what flowers i want, though not from everyone, was the best thing we both had done, as it is sorted.and put away till needed.

Told my kids, what i want to be laid out in, and where it s, so sorted,i am taking control as such, and when needed, will be easier for them,

Has not bothered me as such, as i know these things have to be done, and i am saying what i want, rather than perhaps my children arguing over it,

Not a nice thought, please  try and take some control of the situation, does make in one way you are putting your house in order, My will is done, any money i may have i am giving away now, why i can see them enjoy it.

Every one is different in how, they do things, for me and hubby, we both wanted to take pressure of our children, and when i lost him, one phone call from me, and everything was already in place, less worry,

Hope others come along and put there point.

Ellie xx

That word is terminal did not have my glasses on sorry

I've replayed mine in my head so you not alone. We go through every emotion and seranio well I do and like you I get emotional. I've sorted my funeral and wrote letters to the important people in my life.and if I take my granddaughter away I always get her a book made of our trip .something she can keep forever. Then I get a light bulb moment and think I'm not goin anywere for a good while and most times that works for me. I never ever ask my oncologist anything. He tells me my scan results and I say oh that's brilliant and come out . I suppose it's a form of denial on my part as I think if I dont ask then maybe there wrong in wat they ha e told me. I hope your feeling better in yourself soon and keep up the chatting on here it really does help xx

Hello S1966,

Yes, we all think of this sort of thing. Like others here, I've organised my funeral as well and sorted out everything else regarding wills etc. Ticked it off the list, put it in a box and forgot about it. No longer my problem.

You don't say if your treatment options have ceased? Clinical trials come up all the time. Have you discussed all the possibilities with your team?

Sometimes, the word 'terminal' is wrongly applied - you might be incurable, but treatable. And palliative care , whilst it certainly can be applied to end-of-life scenarios, can be something put in place for when it's needed - maybe not for some time?

I was sent home with palliative care arranged, but later rallied and went on. In fact, that was two years ago. The only advice I can offer is to not write yourself off - because you just don't know. Of course we all have downturns. Goes with the territory. I hope you have an upturn soon and gain a more hopeful peace of mind. Hugs from Rainie x

I did all my business when they said I hadn't got long. Lots of tears from everyone, including myself, then they decided I was stable after all!!!

Was still worth getting everything sorted but just proves that you never know what's around the corner so try to keep your pecker up if you can.

Hi S1966

Me too.. I have sometimes thought about it, then i try my hardest to put it out of my mind and think of other things as i end up in floods of tears, again as Bev said.... denial. 

The only thing i have decided on is that i want to be buried in a basket in a nautural cemetary and have  'Pour Whiskey On My Grave' by Jacob Bryant and that's it.

I know i'm going to have to sort it at some point and visit some of grounds, i want to but i know i'm going to find that that too hard at the moment.

Chatting with my friend the other day, she asked if it was ok to ask me, if i'd thought about what i wanted, and told her the same.

I will do it at some point, but when i am ready and able to, but not yet.

Cat x