Being positive is a load of b******s. Despite all our good intentions, Stage 4 cancer gets everyone in the end.

I am sorry to hear this, though, i was told, if immunotherapy  does not work, it will be stopped, no point in having it, if not doing its job, and  causes, more problems for you, with infections and so on, also if tumors start to grow, they may grow in first few months, then everything settles down,,

Thanks Ellie,  for your kind words

I had heard that immunotherapy doesn't work for everyone,  I'm obviously one of those it hasnt worked for.

On some level, I know its probably for the best it was stopped.

If it is not working, no point to  having it, bit like chemo, we could both have the same, works on you though not on me,

All part of the roller coaster, i am afraid, not easy, as we all know.

For me it is not over till the fat lady sings, and i am not  going to sing for a long time, i sound terrible when i do,

Keep us updated xxx

You are having a very tough time and only you know what you're going through but I'm sure everyone here understands your emotions. Be gentle with yourself. Eat what you want, sleep when you want and watch whatever TV you want. Take Care. xxx

Thank you Anna.

I remember when I first researched cancer some years ago when a colleague had it, and coming across the concept of stage 4, and there being no stage 5. In reality it’s just a continuum, some of us manage to stop the progression for a while, some of us pass through more quickly than others. And it’s crap. Positive attitudes don’t change the course of the disease. All the being strong, fighting it language drives me nuts. Positive attitudes might help us cope with treatment a bit better, or motivate us to do things we enjoy. I have also never believed in denial as a method of trying to make things better and I would say eat and drink exactly what you like, it’s also not going to change outcomes. 

I am sorry you have reached this point and I hope you can find some pleasures along the way. 

Thank you Coddfish.

I'm amazed (and humbled) that people are getting it.

 Getting how I feel, I mean.

Hi Harebelle.

I do 'get it'. I get it too. You are so right about everything. Eat whatever you want...drink all the stuff we're advised not to, throw cushions at the wall....whatever it takes. Be kind to yourself too. Look after yourself. You are saying a lot of the stuff that other people think, but aren't able to face or admit to. That takes honesty, and courage. I hope you find some peace and calm in all this.

Oh Harebelle, my heart goes out to you having the strength to pour your true feelings out and saying how alot of us feel. I think staying positive just helps get me through another day, does nothing for my cancer or the out come. I have started eating and drinking what I like. Why deprive ourselves when we're on the end run. I'm sending my love and hugs. xx

Moi

I get it too. Rant, and share whatever you want to share. There is no right way to feel. The idea of battling the cancer, or losing a battle can feel like blaming the cancer patient for not trying hard enough.