I’m scared (also posted in emotional support forum)

Hello.  I’m so sorry to hear you’re so anxious and scared. I wish I could help to reassure you but all I can do is say that I hear you, and that I’m thinking of you.  I know there are others here who can give you advice and support.  However there is one thing you mentioned that struck a chord with me, and that’s about your will.  Although I now have a blood cancer, 30 years ago my first husband had acute myeloid leukaemia and wanted to make a will. He was too poorly to get to a solicitor but one came to us, first to go over the initial wording and get some idea of what my husband wanted and then a few days later he returned with the final document to be signed.  The solicitor also brought someone from his office to be a witness. Perhaps this is something that you could arrange. I’m sure solicitors must do this frequently.  It’s maybe worth considering.  It certainly helped us a lot and took away some of the worry.

Sending you love and support.

Skaro

Hi Charlotte,

I'm sorry that you are in such a difficult place. Have you spoken to local cancer support charities, or contacted the Macmillan helpline? My local cancer charity helped me with a course of hypnotherapy that I found surprisingly helpful with my anxiety and an online programme to help with sleep. The Macmillan helpline were fantastic helping me to sort out financial worries.

For my will I used a solicitor, I can't remember the cost, but I felt it was worthwhile to make sure it was all correct. I know that dying intestate can cause problems for your loved ones. As for your beneficiaries worrying about you making a will, well really everyone should have one, I'm ashamed it took me so long to make mine, it was the unexpected sudden death of a cousin that prompted me to do it when I was about 54.

Hi. Charlotte, It sounds as,if things are getting on top of you. Lots of people who are in perfect health, make a Will. This is so that the people they leave behind, know their wishes and make things a lot clearer and get things sorted in no time. Dying without a Will can make things complicated.

Please call McMillan who will give you all the help you need or talk to the McMillan nurse when you next go to Oncology. I also wonder if talking to a Counsellor may help. Most of us have needed them for one thing or another. There is no point in being scared or worried about things you have no control of. I just try to take it one day at a time (it's not easy but practice makes perfect) I try to make the best,of the day and don't worry about the "what if's)  A talk to a counsellor you don't know is easier in my opinion than speaking to a member of family because I wouldn't want to worry them even more. The main thing is DO something, make a phone call or appointment to get things started. Good luck!

Hi charlotteLG ,

I'm sorry to hear things are getting on top of you. It's worrying when we feel ourselves becoming more reliant on others. I had a course of counseling arranged by my CNS and funded by Macmillan, this was done over the phone. It helped to speak to someone impartial. The solicitor coming to you re the will is an excellent idea, I didn't know they did that. I'm currently reading the Macmillan booklet Planning ahead for the end of life, there are forms in the back which you can complete so that people know your wishes if you can't communicate them. The booklet can be ordered online.

I hope you feel a bit better soon and more in control of your life. 

A x

Hi Charlotte  wats this book I woudnt mind getting one. X

Hi Bev2022 

Hope you're ok

It's a Macmillan booklet, the title is as above. It can be ordered on the Macmillan website or you can get it from the Macmillan centres in hospitals.

A x

Hi @Bev2022 -- it looks to be available online here

Thanks Mmum 

Xx

Hello Charlotte, As others have said, please take steps to get your will sorted. Most solicitors will come to you. Just ask if they do and what they charge.Or get advise via Macmillan. You will feel so much better when you have dealt with these matters. It will feel as if a weight has been removed from your shoulders. Think about funeral matters too. I know that nobody wants to, but again, when it's all sorted, there will be relief: another thing ticked off.  Then you can put all the documents, letters you want to write to loved ones, if appropriate, etc. into a box and get on with more positive things. One step at a time. Don't be overwhelmed. You can do it. Hugs from Rainie x

• How are you now Charlotte LG? You are in my thoughts