Does it get easier???

I think that was one of my main concerns when I was first diagnosed. It is still a worry, I have outlived my prognosis, we still do stuff. I hope that you can come to terms with the worry x

Hi Stu, it's such a shock on diagnosis, I too had plans for retirement and then 7 months later I became a wheelchair user because of an unrelated back condition. Devastating. I was referred for counselling and that gave me someone to discuss my problems. Perhaps counselling may help you too, or at least speak to your GP.

Tvman 

I've just reread this, you never need to apologise for being soppy, if you can't be soppy when you are scared for your love who you don't want to leave, then when can you be? You both need to be able to share your love and your fear for one another.

I try to let the love lead me, not the fear. 

He will survive after you are gone and carry on as before, assuming he out lives you, becuase nothing is guaranteed for anyone .Thats why i dont believe in a future because really this moment is all we ever have. The important thing is you have made 24 special years of life together, and reflect upon so many special times. I was written off but im here just, however when my day comes, my precious dearest will no doubt ut the kettle on the following morning. Apologies if im a bit blunt. PEACE

Hi Stu, To be honest, I think most of us with this diagnosis worries about the loved one(s) we leave behind. Especially a partner or spouse you have been with for a lot of years. My husband and I will have been together 51 years next month and the first thing that went through my head after dx was "what will he eat" as I do all the cooking! So I started showing him how to work the cooker & microwave so he could make easy meals! We have come quite a long way since then and he now knows how to work the washing machine, dishwasher etc but is still having problems with the TV & TiVo box.

Obviously, I don't want to leave him and the rest of my family, but at least now we have spoken about everything and I am no longer "worried" about him.

Is there something specific you are worried about? If so, talk about it with him and sort it out, then you can both enjoy every day to the full!

Hello Stu,

We have all gone through this to some extent. Like Annette, I have tried to help my other half prepare and taught him how to cook all his favourites. He even has his own recipe book now and we've added to it since my diagnosis. I've a daughter who can help with tech issues but I've now set things up for on-line shops and so on - all the stuff I did and he didn't. These practical things do help you at least know that you have equipped them to take over the tasks that you once did.

As for the rest, we all get sad, but my mind is set on making as many happy moments together as is possible. They might not be big things anymore, but every little shared experience counts. Think of those lucky 24 years, don't think of what you will miss - think about what to do next together. One of my favourites is a posh afternoon tea, a bottle of lovely Prosecco and an overnight in one of those lovely places that have a whopping great bath for two.  It's a great pick-me-up. Ooops. Too much information!  Hugs from Rainie x

Where do you find baths for two? 

A big bath with the taps in the middle...... There must be somewhere in Sheffield that does a package. Or out in the Peak District somewhere? We have The Assembly Rooms in Norwich. Absolutely fab.  Rainie x

Hi Sarah, there's a lovely seaweed baths in Sligo on the west coast of Ireland which is in fact owned by an acquaintance of mine.  

In the seaweed baths complex there are various sized rooms where the slightly larger rooms contain larger baths for 2 people. Those baths are marketed as containing a two person bath and I can reveal that Mrs Tvman and I have enjoyed the experience a couple of times. For those who haven't experienced that, you do actually step into a bath with seaweed in the bottom. Before stepping in, you run the bath yourself to your chosen temperature and the oils are released from the seaweed giving a curiously "oily, not slimy" feeling all over your naked body.

Of course, Sligo isn't the only site for seaweed baths, they are springing up in a town near you. I'd certainly recommend the experience although in my opinion it's much better in a beautiful place like Sligo. 

Tvman xx 

Thank you for this Tvman, I will look out for seaweed baths for two near me!