You’re looking well…

Rainieday had a great answer. She said " hopefully next time you see me I will be on oxygen and it will be more obvious"

Gold plated reply.!

I've only told three friends now and they just carry on the same as before.  Great!  I decided on this approach after getting well pi$$ed off in the early days with professionals saying ". . . . and how are you emotionally?". Like having cancer gave them the right to nosey into the inner depths of my mental state - but we are strangers?!  

I suppose they think they're giving you a boost.  We have this conversation a lot on here and there are the two extremes.  People who just want to carry on the same conversations as before and those who do want to talk about it. 

How do you respond?!  

Edit: here's a thread on annoying interactions.   community.macmillan.org.uk/.../1767306

I am forgiving. I think they havnt got the foggiest about how we are or what we feel like.

Unless I am having a bad day then it's the full eight mags!

Hi Charlotte, I wish I had £1 for every time someone said to me "you are looking well"! At first it did irritate a bit and I felt like saying "As opposed to what...dying". Then I realised it was because they didn't know what to say to me, as AA has said and they thought they were being kind! I really can't be mad at someone who is trying to be kind. Now I just say Thanks, you too! You will get used to it soon enough I hope!

Yes I find it difficult to know whether to talk about it or not 

I seem to think they should know how I am if they care about me. But perhaps they don’t want to know or find it it difficult.

i find it easier if they ask me questions. If I see people regularly I tend not to talk about it unless  they ask me. There are other things to talk about and it is nice to be able to go out and just chat.

i think I might try a new tactic and ask them if they would like to know or would rather not talk about it. But then that is a difficult thing to say as well 

That is why the support group I belong I belong to is good because the other people in my group all have the same diagnosis so they understand and want to talk about it x

Hi charlotteLG,

Yes I get this all the time and no your not being irritable. I think most people are being genuine enough or maybe they just don`t know what else to say. Personally I`m not particularly bothered about it but recently I have started to reply " I might look well on the outside but I`m not so good on the inside ". Maybe gives them something to think about.

Take care, Tom.

I was diagnosed April 2021 and I was ok with this early on but my tolerance is lower now

Someone said it to me yesterday and I just said thank you I don’t think they mean any harm x

I actually like it when people tell me I'm looking well, it makes me feel positive about myself. 

Hi Ladies, we have more to do with our time than bothering with that question, just smile and say not to bad