Thinking back over my life, and a few regrets

Interestingly Ellie, for your first 2, I'm very happy I didn't do those things although I feel a bit of a hypocrite over the driving now that I struggle to ride my bike or walk more than about 2 miles on a good day so I'm very dependent on taxis and lifts from friends.

I've always tried to live my life in of such a way that I wouldn't have regrets, but having been told I have less than 12 months to live at the age of 56, it seems I do have a few.

I wish I had been able to spend more time in Japan. I was lucky enough to work there for 3 months in 2000 and  I'm very grateful for that, but I always thought I'd go back, maybe even do a pottery course there.

I wish I had left London sooner. I spent 22 years there and by the end the things that I hated about it - the crowds, the noise, the rude, aggressive people - were, along with some other issues, badly affecting my mental health.

I also kind of regret starting my PhD. This is a difficult one. I thought it would help me take a particular path in my career but when I was given opportunities on that path because I was doing a PhD, I realised it wasn't right for me. I wouldn't have known that without trying so then I would be here saying I wish I had done a PhD. It would have been better if I'd admitted sooner that I'd made a mistake, but perhaps I couldn't admit it even to myself, so I carried on working full time and studying part time, with the stress also taking its toll on my mental health. And I never did finish the PhD because I have a phobia about the final exam, which is basically an interrogation by two examiners. 

Despite these regrets,  I'm pretty happy with the way I lived my life and extremely grateful for all the opportunities I've had to do the things I wanted to do.

Sarah

Hi Ellie, Well, I only have one regret and that is, I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano. However, my Granddaughter is learning that now and my grandson is learning how to play guitar and the harmonica.

Just last week, I picked Leah up from her lesson and asked the tutor if she taught adults or just children. She said both, I asked if I could put my name on her waiting list and she agreed, telling me I could maybe start during the school summer holidays..............

You are never too old to learn! So watch this space!!

You go for it anndanv!!!! I regret not listen to my mum who told me not to be lazy in school...it never was hard for me but boring. So i could have become a doctor but no i did not want to study for years...well i was a manager then not to bad. But if i could, i would change that.

Another one is...i regret i have become a smoker when i was just 14...all that money and health gone. 

Oh Pet, Is becoming a smoker in the present tense or have I read it wrong? I hope I have.

My husband smoked from an early age but none of my family smoked and I hated the smell of it! However one time we were going to Florida and he didn't think he could do without a cigarette for 8 or 9 hours and said if he could do it for that long, he would try to give up while we were away because most of the people in his work were smokers. That was 27 years ago and he's never looked back, it was terrific! He sucked sugar free lollipops while we were away and said it gave him something to do with his hands! It has made a difference to our life, no yellow ceilings, no smell of smoke from the curtains etc and he feels so much healthier!

I don’t think you should regret starting your phd I’m sure you learnt things. It was also right for you to stop. There is a lot of stress in doing a PHD so you were right to stop xx

I have taught myself the piano. We have a keyboard and I taught myself using the books my children had from their lessons. I can read music from school days 

I can now play fleur de Lys and various pieces. I enjoy it and play to my self. I also play the guitar xx

Thanks Ruth,

I did enjoy doing the research and I learnt a lot that was useful in my job so it wasn't a complete waste of time. I met someone recently who developed a serious heart condition as a result of the stress from her PhD and she nearly died. She gave up and became a potter instead. I guess I'm lucky I only developed chronic anxiety for which I've had CBT and had a few panic attacks. I'm definitely much happier not worrying about it any more. Xx

Hi Annette,

You're definitely never too old to learn and it's great that you're willing to have a go. Enjoy your lessons when they start!

Sarah xx 

Annette that sounds like a wonderful idea! The piano always sounds so calming. Did you see Kate the  Duchess of Cambridge play the piano at the Christmas Eve carol service from Westminster Abbey. She made it look so elegant and she was so at ease. Just beautiful. X 

Yes that is good you did gain something useful xx