Hiding away!!!!

Hi Jane, Yes we all have good days and bad days, we just have to make sure the good days outnumber the bad. To be honest, some days, because of pain, I just feel like staying in bed and seeing no one. Then I give myself a good talking to and I don't want to waste a precious minute while I'm still here.

It took a while, a long while, until I eventually let go of what I used to be able to do, as I realise those days are gone. I just do what I can, when I can and if I need to have a lie down, that's what I do, otherwise the pain becomes unbearable! Now when someone asks me to arrange a coffee/lunch date, I ask can I give them a phone in the morning to confirm because it all depends on whether I slept the night before or not. Then I will maybe just ask if they want to come to me, then I don't have to rush to get ready! People have now accepted I can't always do what I'd like to do!

Annette,

pit is good to have you back.

i also had trouble yesterday accessing the site as it was closed for maintenance.

you are so wise and helpful to others.

i have been able to be a bit a bit more optimistic lately. When I am having good days and have some energy I find I can do more things and appreciate what I do.

i really don’t know what is round the corner and find it doesn’t help brooding over things. I keep my mind busy and occupied and entertained as much as possible xxx

People have said to me 'If I didn't know you have cancer, I'd never have thought you were ill'.  I said to one such, as I was really in an irritable mood at the time, ' Maybe next time you see me I'll be on oxygen and it'll be more obvious.'

The people around you need to be educated as to how you are affected and what they can do for you. Your needs will change over time. Keep on telling them by issuing an update as required. Blub as needed. I blub in the shower as it's easier. Hugs. Rainie x

That is so funny!

Everyone has said that to me, at some point. One friend even said I looked like a weight had been lifted, after having hysterectomy. Hardly. A huge big heavy weight landed back on me straight after my operation! 
I agree, but in the other hand, I don’t want to ask for help and people to see I need it, I want them to see me as the same person, I’m scared to get ill and needy. I guess we all are tbh, obviously. 
i blub anywhere, even Asda  

Hugs to you too. 

im happy to chat and listen to anyone else, I don’t expect it to be one sided! 

xxxx 

Hi Jane 

I fully understand the dilemma you are facing. I too am a very independent person despite living alone now. 

So far I've put off 4 friends from visiting me at home. I just don't want the attention. Phone calls are fine where I can play down my illness and behave bouncy and happy which they remark about, not knowing my real feelings-  but that's it. However my children are always welcome to visit and provide loads of support as I've levelled with them from day one that I have terminal lung cancer. I think that's striking a good balance.

Geoff x

Hi geoff

I totally understand and feel the same. My home is my bubble, and I don’t want visitors, and as you say, you can be yourself, and not put a front on. 
great that your kids are supportive. Id prefer  to be level with our kids too, 
Yes it is x 

Hello Jane, I have so many problems with constant trips to the loo that I have not seen anyone other than outside my front door and they were neighbours.
At Christmas I told my wife to go and have a Christmas dinner with her sister while I stayed at home.
So in a way I am the same as you but whereas you don’t feel like meeting people I am basically unable to.
Its perfectly understandable how you feel.
I wonder if people really understand how bad my problem is at times.
Has my wife explained properly or am I seen as a person bordering on being a recluse?
Either way I am not worried as I feel more happy as I am.

Hi Chromeplated 

Just happened to catch sight of your post. Well, there may be some that may think you're unsociable but let them think what they think anyway, you know the truth and that's all that matters and stay happy.

Take care and stay safe

Tvman